Written by Don Davis
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Monday, 22 October 2007

image for The French aren't from this Planet
Bonjour

Roswell N.M. - Long thought to be just a theory, scientists have come to the conclusion that the French are not from Earth.

Professor Duke Nylo of the Extraterrestrial Alien Research Laboratory (EARL) believes the evidence points to Uranus. Professor Nylo explains: "Though it is visible to the naked eye like most planets, it was never recognized as a planet by ancient observers due to its dimness and the French are also a bit on the dim side."

Many have been suspicious of the French over the years due to their long history of smothering their food in rich sauces and cheese. Some believe this is to cover up the taste of earthly foods that are not quite compatible with their alien palettes.

Professor Nylo points out that "Uranus is the coldest planetary atmosphere in the Solar System and if you've ever spent a few excruciating minutes in an elevator with a Frenchman you quickly learn how cold the French can be as well".

Other pieces of evidence Professor Nylo points out are "… the Uranian system has a unique configuration among the planets because its axis of rotation is tilted sideways and the French are slightly tilted in comparison to the other major tribes of the world. Also, when seen from Earth, Uranus' rings appear to circle the planet like an archery target and the French have long been a target for many well-earned reasons".

One of the most abundant constituents of the Uranian atmosphere is methane. Due to the excessive rich sauces and cheese France has the same problem.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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