Written by Jesus Budda
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Topics: Stephen Hawking, Ass

Thursday, 30 August 2007

image for Professor Stephen Hawking designs robot to lick his ass
I lick, therefore I am

A report in this months "Science Fanatic" magazine states that renowned British scientist Professor Stephen Hawking has designed a robotic device that licks his ass.

"I designed a protype robotic device with electronic mechanical mechanisms which is capable of complex movements", said Professor Hawking, "so, it essentially licks my ass".

The Professor who suffers from debilitating motor neurone disease, cannot move but is famously able to communicate through a speak-and-spell machine.

"One day, the bastards changed the program so that all I could say was 'Mary had a Little Lamb'. But I showed them..." said Hawking as his face contorted very slightly.

Cheering up when talk turned back towards his latest scientific breakthrough Hawking said:"My ass fills all tingly when the robot gets down to it's work on my black hole, you should try it sometime".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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