Written by Jack Van Gump
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Topics: Naked, Greenpeace

Friday, 20 July 2007

image for Greenpeace to "Party Naked"
THAT'S gonna leave a bruise!

Greenpeace is looking for a few good naked volunteers in a bid to meet recruitment goals. "It's a tried and true formula: naked women bring in hoards of men," said one Greenpeace administrator. After a short period of hazing, the volunteers will become full-fledged members of Greenpeace. One phase of the indoctrination involves taking their clothes off and having their picture taken on a freezing cold Alpine glacier.

New York artist Spencer Tunick, famous for taking pictures of naked people in public settings worldwide, wants the photo shoot to highlight the effects of climate change on Switzerland's shrinking glaciers. "That ain't the only shrinking that going to be highlighted," laughed one male college student standing in line to sign up. "But if there are naked women involved, I'm there!"

The celebrity volunteers will be announced at the photo shoot, but are rumored to include Joan Rivers, Barbara Walters and Rosie O'Donnell. "We're keeping the celebrity guest list a secret...for obvious reasons," said a Greenpeace spokesman. The shoot will take place in August at an undisclosed location in Switzerland, followed by a naked wine and cheese reception. Snoop Dogg will provide the entertainment then get stoned and troll for models to be featured in his "Girls Gone Wild" series.

Greenpeace said if global warming continues at its current pace, most Swiss glaciers will disappear by 2080. Factors such as volcanic eruptions, asteroid impacts and nuclear winter may push that date back a bit, but those scenarios are widely assumed by Greenpeace to be "far-fetched".

Greenpeace suggests coming by public transport and not flying in order to make it "an environmentally friendly event". Still, just how friendly can your environment be with a naked Rosie O'Donnell sitting next to you on a train?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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