Written by U. N. Known
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Wednesday, 13 June 2007

image for Breakthrough at Sub-Molecular Level WOWS Scientists
Who'd a Thunk It?

Warren University - A stunning conclusion to a decades long chase took place quite accidentally on May 22 2007 by teams who were trying to prove the existence of the Higgs Boson in exotic experiments using the top particle accelerators of the world's largest research labs.

A long forgotten DARPA research grant, awarded to a small team of scientists at Warren University into cold fusion research had an unexpected side effect. When observing the latest results of their testing, the scientists found that even though experimental data still didn't show the potential for cold fusion, the experiment produced a large amount of waste product.

Puzzled, the scientific team used a wide variety of testing methods before coming to the conclusion that the byproduct was indeed the long sought after sub-atomic particle known as the Higgs Boson.

The Bosons are expected to be in great demand by many other research facilities and possible usage by the semi conductor industry is in the near term horizon. If details can be worked out over ownership with DARPA and the university.

DARPA has a theory that Warren University was stringing the grants out without much success until the latest accidental discovery resulting from an postgrads way to heat his coffee more quickly using the cold fusion equipment during his night shift producing the byproduct as a result of the mixing of the fuel and coffee grinds.

The Higgs Bosons from that mixture had to be contained in a series of sterile Buckytubes to prevent decay and be prepared for shipment.

It was decided that the first large quantity will go out to the naval forces of countries that have nuclear powered ships to see what could be done about improving their speed on the high seas using the excitable energy from the Bosons and matching their capability to the navy's own Boson Mates to see if there is synergy.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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