A young 5, 000 pound whale, nickednamed Brooklyn Dodger seemed to be doing fine in the waters off of Brooklyn, NYC until yesterday when the marine mammal began to thrash around in the waters. The magnificent creature suddenly beached itself on a dock and expired. NYC government experts have all waded in to help explain the animal's demise.
Department of Social Services Director, M.S.W. Bleedinhart attributed the mammal's premature death to its separation from its mother and its school: "This Whale got left behind!" City Environmental Protection Director Aire Erthwata blamed the city council's refusal to clean up the water ways: "In the days of Brando's Waterfront the only dirt was corrupt union gangsters. Now it's in the bay!"
Health Department leader Wat Chawait suggested that any youngster weighing 2 and 1/2 tons is at serious risk for health problems, NYC former Mayor and Republican Presidential hopeful Rudy Guliani attributed the fatality to the same monsters who caused 9-11: "I saved the city from the terrorists and I can save the country from the new attacks on baby whales. I may be pro-choice but I am certainly not pro-whale infanticide!"