Written by Arthur Zee
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Tuesday, 17 April 2007

image for Global Warming may Ease Energy Crisis
Warming Up to Free Energy

Researchers at the Massachusetts Institute of Reinvention (MIR) are claiming that the threat of Global Warming also holds the promise of unlimited free electrical energy. Their solution is found in the production of electricity directly from the Earth's increasing heat, using a centuries-old principle called the "Seebeck Effect."

The MIR report, titled "Endless Energy: the Ultimate Free Lunch," was disclosed in this month's issue of "Random Science," the leading journal of suppressed research and development.

The production of electricity from heat was first demonstrated by the German-Estonian physicist Thomas Johann Seebeck in 1821. Numerous practical applications subsequently evolved, mostly unrelated to large scale energy production. Ultimately, the needs of interplanetary spacecraft prompted development of thermoelectric generators that use heat from decaying nuclear material to drive the Seebeck Effect. The MIR researchers anticipate leveraging that same principle on a world wide scale using the unbounded heat of Global Warming.

Ironically, one potential obstacle to endless electricity would be the inadvertent reversal of Global Warming due to reduced CO2 emissions. As more "green" power is produced, less fossil fuels would be consumed, thereby reducing the beneficial warming caused by greenhouse gasses. This reversal of fortune could result in the revival of "Global Cooling," a threat the planet has not faced since the 1970's.

Scientists hesitate to predict the ultimate winner in the critical battle of hot and cold. When asked about this dilemma, project leader Dr. Emily Litella merely quipped "Well, it's always something."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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