NASA is continuing to neither officially confirm nor deny reports that its astronauts on board the International Space Station have become intoxicated on marijuana fumes which have gathered in the upper stratosphere between the station's orbit and Denver, Colorado. According to one off the record briefing by anonymous NASA source, "First they said that there was a marijuana cloud over Denver that they could see from their orbiting position, then they said they could SMELL the fumes. Then they couldn't stop laughing about it for like 3 days."
The State of Colorado legalised the possession and supply of marijuana in a statute which came into effect on New Year's Day 2014.
Now this seemingly enlightened policy is having a catastrophic effect on NASA's research on scientists in zero gravity.
"Forget the research. The astronauts are goofing off up there . They've already eaten up next month's food supply, they won't perform any of the experiments they were assigned. Anything we try and tell them to do about basic health and safety or oxygen reserves they say its a conspiracy theory. We're worried about cultural differences. The 60s didn't happen in Russia and the cosmonauts got so paranoid they barricaded themselves into their living quarters. Its a disaster and its all because of Denver. Now we have to figure out how to get them all down because they can't remember what we told them to do in training. Are these the type of role models we want for American youth
who may be considering a career in space?"