Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 10 February 2014

image for Archaeologists In Indiana Make A Remarkable Discovery
An archaeologist looking over some of the 117 apple seeds.

INDIANAPOLIS, Indiana - A group of Archaeologists affiliated with Johnny Appleseed University in Indianapolis have come across an astounding archaeological find.

The group leader Dr. Larson Tuckteen has informed the news media that they have come upon a dig site that has so far turned up 117 apple seeds.

These apple seeds are believed to have been dropped there by the famous apple tree planter Johnny Appleseed as far back as 203 years ago.

Johnny Appleseed, whose real name was John Chapman, used to walk all over the states of Indiana, Ohio, and Pennsylvania planting apple trees and in some cases apple orchards.

It is believed that before he started planting apples he actually planted papayas for about three weeks.

But Johnny soon realized that the name Johnny Papayaseed did not quite have the same melodic ring that Johnny Appleseed had and so he switched from papayas to apples.

Dr. Tuckteen proudly commented that the 117 seeds will be sent to President Obama. The president will then have them housed in Washington, D.C.'s Smithsonian Museum.

SIDENOTE: Dr. Larson Tuckteen stated that the reason why the apple seeds had not sprouted was because Johnny, who had an IQ of 172, had coated them with avocado wax that prevented the apple seeds from sprouting in the pockets of his pants.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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