Written by Joe Leff
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Topics: Weight Loss

Saturday, 2 February 2013

People who need to shed pounds should pound sheds, according to researchers.

Dr. Abel Toschivdit, of Fatbusters Clinic, surveyed over 100 would-be slimmers about their weight-loss attempts. When they had failed to reach their targets, most of them just burst into tears.

But 25 of the respondents went home, sulked for a bit in the garden, and then started thumping the shed door for five minutes.

These were the ones who began to lose more weight when they re-started their weight-loss regimes.

Mrs Isla Jushowim, wife of one of the shed pounders, said: "It really works. Fred has lost over a stone since I started locking away all the sweets, buns and chocolate bars in our garden shed."

These new research findings have triggered an increase in shed sales - and also an increase in sales of scales. "It's amazing how many pounds you can shed in our store," said one shed salesman.

Hospital doctors warned that pounding sheds might damage hands and wrists. "Well, that might make it even more difficult to eat big stuff," said the weight-loss researchers, who were planning to address the next meeting of the Poundshedders Association in the big shed behind Poundstretchers.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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