Written by ExiledRoyal
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Penis, email, Spam

Thursday, 29 November 2012

image for Spam 'Viagra' emails destroy man's life
This 5 foot tape is strictly for amateurs

For most of us, unsolicited emails advertising Viagra and other sexual paraphernalia are simply a part of life. Most of us receive them in our 'Spam' folder and delete them without ever looking at them.

But for Marv Kuntz the story has taken a very different twist.

"I started answering these emails I was getting, and bought pretty much every gizmo going. The ones that attracted me most were those who promised a bigger, better erection as I had a very small willy."

Kuntz told us that he has spent in the region of nine thousand dollars (around five thousand pounds) on equipment which has left him with a thirty eight foot penis.

"I always said if a Genie ever gives me three wishes I was going for money, immortality and a massive cock. World peace, racial equality and the abolition of disease can wait for someone who cares."

Mr. Kuntz told us, "I now regret the whole thing. I have to take a wheelbarrow where ever I go, and am required to wear a siren whenever I walk round a corner."

Mr. Kuntz's girlfriend joked, "I used to call it a Weapon of Mass Destruction, not because it was big, but because it was so hard to find. The first time we slept together he put it in my hand, in the dark, and I told him I didn't smoke. That really hurt his feelings. Now he hurts my, well, just about everything."

For more information go to www.shitthatsenormous.org or type #whangoftheweek into Twitter.

Make ExiledRoyal's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 multiplied by 3?

5 8 3 22

Go to top ^