Well, actually, make that plural: SECRETS. There's definitely more than one.
NASA is being tightlipped, only saying that the rover Curiosity has discovered something exciting that warrants further investigation. Supposedly more info is forthcoming in December.
Meanwhile, Gail Farrelly, a science reporter for The Spoof, has done her own investigation and come up with numerous secrets related to the planet Mars:
Lady Gaga was born and raised there and will soon be returning to her roots.
Mars Bars didn't originate there at all. They were actually invented on Venus.
The "Red Planet" isn't red. It just looks that way when it blushes or gets a sunburn.
Donald Trump is building an intergalactic golf course on Mars.
The creature known as Bigfoot has a summer home there. "It's not crowded, and there's lots of legroom," he reportedly has said.
Martians are big fans of Honey Boo Boo and have made her and her family an offer they may not be able to refuse. An expense-paid vacation trip to Mars with "meet and greet" and autograph-signing sessions with Martians.
Celebrity lawyer Gloria Allred has an office there, so she can observe the entire universe and have first dibs on clients who will bring her tons of publicity.
FBI operatives often hang out in the caves of Mars as they secretly hack the email of thousands and thousands of Americans.
And now -- drumroll, please -- for the final and most shocking secret.......
The Mars rover Curiosity is one big fat hoax. It has never budged from the sound stage of a major motion picture studio in Hollywood where it was conceived, designed, and produced.
So there you have it.