Written by radiogagger
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Friday, 11 May 2012

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Dorking Kebab House - buy fax, doner free

Ali Baba, owner of Dorking Kebab House on Dorking High St, announced today that he will be selling his fax machine as he discovered the only other owner of a fax machine in the United Kingdom lived in the flat above his shop.

Mr Baba, 43, has owned the kebab shop for 6 years, and the business has been in his family for 32 years. He explained the reason behind selling his fax to the Dorking Review business editor, Sven Derek Ericcson.

"The fax machine used to be a vital part of our business. I would place my daily order for meat and two veg; soft drinks and napkins by fax to our suppliers. We also advertised on our leaflets which go door to door that we accept orders by fax. This was popular for businesses at lunchtime - and also evenings when football matches were on the telly".

"Sadly, with the growth of email, text messages, tweets, even something called efaxs - which if you ask me is just a posher name for an email - meant that gradually everyone started getting rid of their fax machines. Clive, who lives upstairs, and is a regular customer in the evenings, noticed the fax one day and we started a conversation. Turns out he was the editor of a monthly publication dedicated to everything happening in the world of fax machines, but they closed down 18 months ago and gave him the office fax as redundancy payment."

Clive Samuels, who lives upstairs to the Kebab Shop continues the story "Yes its true I was the editor of 'Fax Monthly' until the subscription figures dropped into single figures and they decided to discontinue the publication. I set myself up as a 'freelance fax news specialist' and started an internet blog dedicated to faxes. My blog had even less subscribers than Fax Monthly".

"One by one, subscribers told me they were getting rid of their machines, until it was just me left. And then, buying my late night shish before heading upstairs to check my emails - I noticed the machine in the corner of Ali's shop.It was an emotional moment for me. Made even sadder by the fact that Ali decided to sell his machine when I explained to him we were the only two owners of faxes in the UK, and I live upstairs so had no need to fax him"

The advert for Ali's fax machine can be found in the classifieds at the back of the Dorking Review. If you need a fax, get in touch with Ali - he's even promised to throw in a free doner if you collect.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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