Written by IainB
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Sunday, 22 April 2012

image for Luddite Society organise a Kindle burning
The Nottingham Fire Service have insisted that any burnt Kindles in their area should be burned in a fume cupboard

The Luddite Society are to hold a Kindle Burning party on Thursday to symbolise the destruction of what they see as the end of paper based books.

"Kindles are an affront to every good thinking honest citizen," said Ned Ludd, who is the elected head of the society. "They digitise learning and knowledge so that it can be lost as easily as your email, or that friend you thought you'd made on iHarmony."

Opposition to Ludd runs rife through all levels of society, including Graham Norton, a chat show host, comedian and part time minister at a Methodist Church in Stalybridge (according to Google, anyway).

"Ludd is obviously unaware that in the past, his predecessors burnt books," said Norton. "Either that, or he is a deeply ironic iconic character."

The Kindle Book Burning is to be held at a secret location, but probably near Nottingham. Members of the society will either be messaged through Facebook, sent a text message or emailed.

"All our members will be keeping an eye on our Twitter feed," said Ludd. "The moment it gives them the time, they'll already have been sent the location. This will stop the authorities from invading our protest over the universal encroachment of technology into people's every day lives, and ruining that which they hold dear."

The television cameras will be invited to the burning so that they witness the event, with a DVD coming out for Christmas. Ludd may even release it onto his YouTube channel for two million Luddite subscribers.

"It's going to be awesome!" said Ludd. "Probably a bit smelly too, what with all those plastic fumes."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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