Written by Gary Potter
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Wednesday, 11 April 2012

image for Co-operation causes bigger brains - claim guess who!
This PC was once an abacus, in a few years it will run NASA

By now regular readers of this reporters stories will detect a tedious pattern to my stories. There seems to be a remarkable trend in so called science reports which turn out to be nothing more than half baked evolution propaganda. Today's whimsical notion is as always based on the same, sense breaking, up to the minutes guesswork, by evolution 'scientists'.

According to students at Trinity College Dublin, you can write a computer programme which is said to demonstrate that co-operating virtual guinea pigs encourage intelligence. Said one 'boffin' "It is the transition to a cooperative group that can lead to maximum selection for intelligence,".

We asked are increasingly frustrated genuine science expert for his views "Hells teeth. I have a computer programme where an attractive tomb raider takes part in all sorts of daring doo to recover lost virtual artifacts. No matter what randomness is built into a programme, by definition it is a programme, hence there will always be an inevitable element of a predetermined outcome. Evolution is claimed to be totally random, something which computer scenarios are not. Evolution crackpot Richard Dawkins produced a computer program years ago, which always produced his target phrase of 'methinks it is like a weasel' and always in an amazingly small number of attempts. As always, characteristics can only be passed on by genetic information, from which intelligence can then be selected from. If nothing else, evolutionary theory seems to indicate a predispersition to magical thinking."

We tried to contact atheist fundamentalist Richard Dawkins, but he was busy banging away at his 48k Spectrum, writing a programme which proves life can come from lifeless hydrogen atoms to humans in a mere 4 billion years. He plans to be finished by lunchtime.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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