Written by Aakash
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Topics: Geek, teleportation

Wednesday, 28 March 2012

17 year old computer-freak, Glenn Davidson, of New York, achieved a breakthrough in the process of teleportation of physical matter. The geek has built a software by the name of 'Great Escape' that uploads/scans any physical matter, including living organisms, onto a computer.

The software physically packs you up into an archive file, which can then be sent to any location of your choice via internet. The archive compression converts matter weighing 1 pound into an archive that takes 1.73 MB in disk space. Thus, an average human of 160 pounds can be fit into an archive of approximately 277 MB.

This new state-of-the-art software has almost completed its beta stage and is expected to hit the market by mid-June 2012. Experts say that this software will replace the postal and courier services around the world. It might bring around a revolution in the transport sector. Traffic jams on the roads and highways will be replaced by server crashes.

Prophets predict it to be the cause of the "Fast approaching Doomsday", although no strong evidence supporting the same can be gathered. Various blogs and forums over the internet have started discussing about the possibility of catching criminal suspects and other law offenders by enhancing the firewall and Anti-virus systems in various computers and servers.

Glenn has also brought to light the fact that, if any living organism or an object is stored as an archive on the system, any kind of hard-drive crash, system crash, formatting, etc. of the storage device may lead to permanent loss of data.Thus, an object can be lost forever, or a living organism can be teleported directly to Oblivion. Thus, it is always wise to create a backup/clone of the archive in question.

Keeping aside minor technical problems, this software looks very promising. One might also say that this is the best invention since sliced bread.

Happy Teleportation.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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