Written by IainB
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Wednesday, 21 December 2011

image for Dorking Video Game 'Unrealistic' say residents
Dorking Library - according to the game

The latest 3D Shoot-em-up setting in the sleepy suburb of Dorking has sparked outrage among residents of the sleepy suburb of Dorking.

"The game is good and all," said resident youth, Jay Stick. "It's just not Dorking, you know."

According to regular players of Modern Wafer - Dorking 3D 2 who live in Dorking, there are some elements that are instantly recognisable.

"They've got the car park there," said Stick. "And I had a great time shooting cross dimensional Nazi zombies in Dorking swimming baths. They've even got the mobile library on Hilltop Crescent."

However, some elements appear completely fabricated.

"I know the main library's a bit of a crap building," said Stick. "But the one in the game looks more like the bleedin Taj Mahal. And I'm not talking about the curry place on West Street. Which, by the way, isn't in the game at all. The game's got it down as a betting shop."

As well as angering players of the game, it is also angered those who have never seen the game, never mind played it.

"It's bad, isn't it?" said Mavis Davis, who runs the Dorking Women's Institute. "All that shooting and exploding in Dorking. It wouldn't surprise me if there wasn't looting and sexing and general naughtiness in it too. What's wrong with flower arranging for kids today?"

Elektronix, the makers of the game were quite surprised at the mixture of responses that their game has received from the population of Dorking.

"You mean," said director of story arc, Brian Cryan, "there really is a place called Dorking?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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