Written by mikewadestr
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Monday, 12 December 2011

image for Earth's Magnetic Field Reverses Overnight: Nothing Makes Sense Anymore as if ever did
We have move to the South Pole now, it's too fucking warm up here anywhere.

In a shocking revelation, everyone in the world woke up this morning to find out that the Earth's magnetic field had reversed itself. That is except for the people of Australia who actually witnessed it first hand and realized that their beer must have been really watered down.

The first clue that the North and South pole had reversed was seen in the United States where everyone was suddenly driving on the wrong side of the road where as the people across the pond in Great Briton showed great progress to coming to terms with reality by driving on the right side of the road, which just happens to be the left lane, which is probably not such a good idea as nobody in America knows how to drive anyway.

Things definitely got weird when a player from Manchester United clothes line a player from Arsenol and knocked him out of the game. The referees did nothing after the infraction due to the fact that they had no yellow flags to throw.

On the American side, on the opening kickoff of the New England Patriots and New York Jets game, the Patriots kicker simply pushed the ball backwards to be picked up by a team mate who immediately kicked it out to a wing who not only caught the ball but got tackled. The Jet player who tackled the guy went helmet first and was not ejected because the referees had none of those red cardy things in their pockets.

What makes things worse is that Manchester United is now running the no-huddle.

From the looks of it they really have to work on the thing a bit more.

The Queen of England announced that she is now the Queen of nothing, which really changes nothing at all. Barack Obama, on the other hand, announced that he was "king that all he could see" which is just about as far as he can pee.

Newt Gingrich has become a nice guy while Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachman have both started to make sense. For some odd reason the polar reversal has had no affect on Paris Hilton or Linsay Lohan.

Simon Cowell on the other hand, has lost his job on X-factor because he was way too nice. Simon actually gave everyone in the audience a free hit on his head with a crowbar which amazingly had no affect on Simon's intelligence. I guess the pole reversal is not as complete as everyone initially thought.

More on this story as things turn upside down.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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