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Friday, 20 January 2006

image for Scientists Accidentally Discover God
Flight of the Bee recently explained

An Interview with the Closeted Christian Scientists at the Bee Flight Discovery

PHILADELPHIA - Last year, scientists discovered the physics behind the flight of bees, removing a major criticism by the Intelligent Design faction of the Creationism vs. Evolution debate. Those findings were chronicled in November issue of the prestigious Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

However, some dissent is emerging from the scientists involved in that research, particularly among secret Christian scientists who say that "everything that we discovered isn't being mentioned in peer journals or in the media."

Three of these scientists spoke with us, on the condition of anonymity. John (not his real name), the most senior of these Christian scientists who must practice their Christianity in secret for fear of losing their jobs in a field dominated by atheists, admitted that the bee flight physics discover did diminish claims of Intelligent Design, but stated that this wasn't the greatest discovery made that day.

"When we honed in on those bees, we learned a lot more than physics. We discovered that the bees have developed their own language - a language communicated by flapping their wings in a variation of sequences. There were over 100,000 various sequences used by the bees in the laboratory, and when we analyzed them using linguistic experts, we realized that they were - in essence - talking to each other."

Mary, also not her real name, nodded enthusiastically. "Now, they weren't saying a whole lot to each other - mostly how heavy their load was, and how far it was to the hive, but there was an interesting phrase they kept repeating: ‘God is great and all-powerful, God is great and all-powerful."

John interrupted, "Which not only proves that God exists, but that another species on this planet can perceive him."

After our interview, the third scientist phoned us back. He had remained silent during the interview, and explained that even the Christian scientists hadn't told us everything - and because of what was translated, Dave (also, not his real name) is no longer Christian, though he hasn't admitted this to his closeted Christian associates.

"Yes, they were saying ‘God is great and all-powerful,' but about every third time one of the bees said this, they would also add another phrase: ‘and his name is Moo-dah.' They would usually repeat this several times, and then lower their altitude slightly, as if out of respect or subservience.'"

Before we hung up, Dave admitted that he, too, now worships the bee God, Moo-dah, who he now views as the creator of all living things.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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