Written by Edtheted
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Topics: Armageddon

Monday, 3 October 2011

Scientists working for the UN have unearthed a communist plot to plunge Britain into further economic and social upheaval: a Doomsday Weather Machine.

Research has show that a snow-producing Doomsday Weather Machine, targeting Britain, is in its final stage of production; ready to inflict an almighty catastrophe on the United Kingdom. Following data from previous years, China has calculated that an inflicted snowfall of 1cm should bring the whole country to a halt, cripple our health system, and force a collapse of capitalism countrywide. The domino effect, as country by country fall to the relentless half inch of snow, will bring about the end of the civilised world as we know it.

The design of a Weather Based Weapon has always been a major concern amongst meteorologists and military personnel alike. The fear caused by this potential threat prompted the passing of the UN General Assembly Resolution 31/72, TIAS 9614 Convention on the Prohibition of Military or Any Other Hostile Use of Environmental Modification Techniques in 1977, which prohibits "widespread, long-lasting or severe effects as the means of destruction, damage or injury". However, it nowhere expels the use of "local, non-permanent changes". Again, this was not accounted for in the Kyoto Protocol, leaving the red menace to plot against our great nation. The lack of legislation governing this area would lead to China being completely faultless in terms of international law. No formal charges could be brought before our governing bodies, and as such, the destruction would go unchecked, and unpunished.

Blueprints of the original plans show the positioning of Local Ionosphere Disrupters (LIDs) scattered around the Chinese countryside. The potential discharge of these disrupters could effectively tear through the ionosphere, causing UV radiation to flood our nation, increasing the cases of skin cancer and crippling our food and livestock industries. This coupled with the original plans for liquid nitrogen dispensing high atmosphere rockets, means that October could be a very white month.

No information has been gained as to when Chairman Mao will power up his Doomsday Weather Machine and release his rockets, but rest assured Britain, when it is activated, our demise is certain.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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