Written by Gail Farrelly
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Topics: Kindles, Amazon

Wednesday, 28 September 2011

image for Amazon Announces Kindle Fire Tablet; Older Kindles Furious
Not all were eager to party at the press conference.

At Amazon's Wednesday morning press conference in New York City, it wasn't only the long-awaited tablet computer (the Kindle Fire) that was introduced. It was also THREE other new Kindles.

Amazon had also brought along some earlier Kindles (first, second, and third generation) to serve as cheerleaders. They turned out to be anything but.

As Amazon's CEO Jeff Bezos proudly welcomed the Kindle Fire and other new members to the Amazon family, older Kindles fumed. "Speak for yourself, buddy," an original Kindle in the front row was heard to mumble, continuing, "methinks our family was fine just the way it WAS. Now Kindle models are multiplying like guinea pigs. Disgusting."

"There's no such thing as respect for your elders anymore," a Kindle2 said to his friend. "Not with the latest generation. It's just out with the old! We may need grief counseling."

His friend, a third-generation Kindle, agreed. "They're not even giving us a gold watch or a vacation trip or something as a bonus for services rendered. All the fuss is for the new guys on the block. It's tacky!"

At the end of the formal portion of the press conference, the older Kindles refused to pose for photos or partake of the huge, 50-layer celebratory cake (decorated with the Amazon logo), baked especially for the occasion. Instead, the older Kindles scooted off to spend a day of sightseeing, drinking (lots and lots of it) dancing, and dining in the Big Apple.

Amazon executives tried to grab them and haul them back in. But the slippery Kindles ran as fast as their little legs would carry them and were able to elude their grasp. One of the older Kindles had some mocking words about the Amazon executives. "Let them eat cake," she shouted, as she dashed to the exit.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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