Shock findings in the banking world...bankers are...bankers

With all hell breaking loose in the banking world I manage to secure a loan in order to persuade a high flyer to speak of events of the last few weeks.

I meet and hand over the cash to my contact here to be known as Deep Stoat, a name he or she seems to like, when I point out its not really a compliment Mr (or Mrs) Deep Stoat replies he (or she) doesn't give a monkey's and did I get the caviar he asked for(please take the he or she thing for granted from now on).

So to business and I decide to kick off with a little question about bank charges,to break the ice, I say at least with all the whoo ha with the credit crunch and the stock market the bank charges campaign will look a little trivial, he replies "yeah suckers who do they think they are, £40 a go! Hee ha! Should manage their money better, what they think we are?, a charity or something!, you know, you're alright, get us another bottle of bubbly will you, parched with all this chattin". I watch as DS scoffs another cracker ladened with beluga , he gestures as he scoffs, about to speak again ...

"You should come to my island sometime, we,ll have a larf", when I ask what island and did I hear him correctly he answers, crumbs spewing from his mouth, " Yeah one of those in the Maldeves forget its name, I just get in the jet", a pause "mind you, bloody things sinking have to get rid soon, ...bloody swindlers" a grin appears ..still, I think I got it covered" a wink and a touch of the nose.

More time passes small talk abounds and I pick my moment , I ask him about the causes of the banks difficulties, SIV Lites, the Governments intervention, what he thought of American efforts to sue a British bank, that last point gets a response "Cheeky buggars, should learn to manage their money better!, as for the rest....." He answers with a shrug of the shoulders and a grin, "Just one of those those things mate" and hands me a letter with a bold solicitors letterhead, it reads...

"All of these statements are without merit, and we shall deny them vigorously."

He gets up to go shakes my hand and smiles "Sucker".