Not The Oxford English Dictionary. Vol. 9.

Fabric:
Name for an old male hippie

Fabulist:
A legendary list

Fabulous:
One of a group of legendary crablice

Facial:
What you get for keeping your eyes on the balls

Facility:
Instant tea

Faction:
7/8

Factorize:
(See facial)

Factories:
Down with Conservatives

Factotum:

1.Member of Red Indian
2.Native American Pole Dancer who does anything you want


Factual:

What every Government has done to the voting public


Faddy:

A picky Irishman


Fag:

Somebody who smokes pink cigarettes


Failure:

Bait guaranteed to be unsuccessful

Fairway:

Distance walked by golfer to retrieve ball in the rough


Fairyland:

The Castro in San Francisco


Faithful:
(see facial see speech impediment)


Faithless:

Unknown person with speech impedient


Fakir:

Indian woman who pretends to come


Falsifier:

Someone who phone the emergency services just to see the fire engine arrive


Famine:

A worked-out mine


Famishing:

Type of angling - see failure)


Fanatic:

The twitching facial expression of a Muslim terrorist


Fancier:

A star who digs groupies


Fanfare:

The articles of commerce of rock memorabilia. E.g., Louis Armstrong's Trumpet etc.


Farcical:

An icicle of a strange and hilarious shape


Farrago:

(Old West) Cock up in a post office e.g., Wells Farrago


Farrow:

Argument at distance


Farther:

1. Absentee parent
2. Torture one's female partner under the bedsheets


Fascination:

An intriguing country


Fascist:

A pustule on Mussolini's face


Fated:


Theinexorable destiny of Edward towards becoming obese


Father:

That fat woman there


Fatherhood:

Best covering for above


Fatten:

To overnourish a chicken


Fatuity:

An imbecilic tip


Faulty:

Badly made beverage


Federation:

Given ones portion


Feeler:

(See foreplay)


Felicitous:

A happy abode


Feline:

Catlike manner in which lawyers approach affairs of money (make a f. for)


Felony:

1. How one injured one's leg
2. How and why one might have received or been recommended for a peerage (UK)


Female:

Rent Boy


Femoral:

Question of correctness of charging an arm or a leg for something



Ferocity:

Bad part of town



Fertilize:

Description of occular state of female once each month


Fervent:
(see Regina)


Festoon:

1. Cover with grafitti (e.g., Mickey mouse)
2. Scottish party music


Fetidity:

A song that stinks


Fetlock:

Slimming aid that works by prevention of mouth opening


Fickle:

Tool used to harvest corn indescriminately


Fidget:

A restless dwarf


Fiendish:

Plate used in Devil-worship


Finisher:

To manually stimulate


Firkin:

Get a woman ver a barrel and this happens


First:

Cockney's desire for drink at 6am


Fission:

Sign on manager's door at Tchernobyl (gone fission)


Fivefold:

Description of some female labia (see Quimtuple)


Flaccid:

A weak acid


Flagrant:

Smell of a chinese tramp


Flagstaff.

The one in charge of rasing the standards in Wales


Flamboyant:

Floating ostentatiously


Flame:

Description of one who walks badly due to burnt leg


Flapdoodle:

Lewd drawing of femal genitalia ( seen generally on toilet doors)


Flattery:

To overcompliment someone on a blowjob


Fleming:

A Belgian who coughs and spits


Flier:

Somebody who fibs and flees


Flint:

Sharp material accumulating in the naval


Floater:

Captain's Log


Flotilla:

Barbarian sea invader (F. the Hun)


Flounder:

Fish for excuses - all rather flat



Fluorine:

Fluorescent urine (see Red Bull)


Focus:

Concentration of Government on what it does best


Fogey:

Found in and around geriatric nose


Footman:

Fetishist


Forcemeat:
(see turkey-stuffing)


Foreign:

Monarchist


Foremost:

Extremely Liberal


Forensic:

Usually found in foreign hospitals


Foreskin:

Anti-circumcision


Forest:

Lazy


Frestall:

Use stacked heels (see Tom Cruise)


Forewoman:

Chief lesbian


Formic:

Pro-Irish


Fork:

e.g, Fork 'n knife found next your fork'n plate


Fortieth:

What you have left in your mouth at that age


Fortnightly:

What every husband and wife did


Fortunate:

Musician with limited repertoire


Foul:

Disgusting chicken


Foulness:

Only place in England that lies up to its name


Foundry:

Did not drown


Fraction:

8/7 of a faction


Framework:

Rehabilitation of geriatric stokr victim (see zimmer)


Frantic:

Spontaneous shrug of French



Fretful:

Frighteningly pierced woodword


Freud:

Decription of breakfast bacon in Birmingham (UK)


Friary:

Chipmunk nest


Frill:

What Cockney gets on roller coaster


Fungicide:

What killjoys are guilty of


Fusion:

Many excelled at splitting atoms but at getting them to join fusion.


Futurist:

Unpopularly holiday venue (Sudan is a futurist country)