Not The Oxford English Dictionary. Vol. 8.

Early:
(adj.) Description of the House of Lords


Earnest:
Ear muff of a rather serious kind


Earthen:
In that case you mean that woman


Earwig:
Aural toupee


Easel:
5/6 of a weasel (see badge, see roadkill)


Eastertide:
What clerics wash their pascal vestments with


Ebony:
Website for anorexics


Ebulliently:
How a playful bull butts someone


Eclipse:
Form of the lips during an expression of surprise


Economise:
1. How someone looks upon a real bargain (with e.)
2. Sodomise but only put the tip in

Economist:
What is used to make figures even more vague than they are (particularly politicians)


Ecstatic:
A twitch during orgasm


Eerie:
The weird look of someone with many ears

Efface:
An avatar on a social networking site that nobody uses


Effemination
IVF done by doctor with a lisp and a cold in the head


Effete:
Description of feet of effeminate person


Effluvium:
Most of what comes out of the internet


Effort:
1. How somebody fought in the past (effort with great energy)
2. Internet stronghold


Effrontery:
Cheeky graphical user interface


Effusion:
What happens when Google buys Yahoo/ Facebook/ most anything else web-based


Eft:
Polite way of saying how young amphibians were conceived (male and female eft)


Egotism:
(see Damselfish)


Egress:
Bully someone via internet (email, facebook etc)


Egret:
Not entirely regret


Elba:
What Napoleon shouldn't rest on the table because it's bad manners


Election:
1. What an impotent chinaman doesn't get
2. What the chinese and Cubans don't get full stop!


Electrician:
Name for A Scottish robot


Electrocute:
Touch live wires to any baby animal


Electroencephalograph:
Piece of medical equipment that was invented after a brainwave


Electrolyse:
What most muslim terrorists utter when electrodes are attached to their genitals, causing the interrogators to apply more current each time until hydrogen issues from one ear and oxygen from the other.


Electromotive:
Reasons why interrogators apply current to muslim terrorists


Elegant:
A well-turned-out pachyderm


Elegiac:
(suffx.) Someone who waxes lyrical about their situation. E.g., Parapelegiac, Haemophilegiac etc.



Elemental:
1. Rogue Elephant
2. A simple Swiss cheese
3. Cheese made from Elephant milk


Elephantine:
1. Solvent for Elephants
2. Large lake in a London park


Elfish:
Water pixie


Elixir:
What a boyfriend does to his girlfriend if they are on sufficiently good terms


Elm:
Broken ship's wheel


Elusive:
A riddle


Elucidate:
Find palm trees in the desert


Embassy:
Shirley's diplomat sister


Emboss:
An employer that stands out


Employ:
A ruse to get people to work


Enact:
A flurry of feathers in a poultry coop


Enamour:
One of many abbattoir tools for dispatching a chicken


Encampment:
To bestow effeminacy upon


Encash:
A poultry sum


Encomium:
The most wondrous, desirable, lustrous and valuable asset to all mankind that is the rarest element in the fictional periodic table (see didumdidumdium, tedium, meconium and moron)


Endear:
A darling of an earlobe


Endorse:
1. Stamp on a horse's rear
2. Stamp a permit to slaughter equines


Endorser:
Equine slaughterman


Enfranchise:
Contract to supply poultry


Enema:
A foe attacking from the rear to get people running


Enjoy:
Unspeakable act involving poultry (see Enrapture)


Epilogue:
The end of a raft


Erie:
A spooky lake near the Canadian border


Escapement:
Intended evasion that didn't go like clockwork


Espionnage:
Secretly look at woman's birth certificate


Estimate:
Someone who approximates to one's idea of a perfect partner


Euclid:
The cover of a case for small hawaian guitar


Evocation:
A calling possessed by internet preachers and doctors


Exact:
A very precise piece of stage pornography


Exist:
To be prejudiced against former partners


Exotic:
A bizarre twitch


Expander:
Dead chinese bear


Expanse:
Old trousers far too big now you have slimmed


Expedite:
Facilitator in a religious sect


Expense:
Old UK money


Experimental:
Mad about science


Expert:
Formerly firm female buttocks