Not The Oxford English Dictionary Vol. 7

Daguerreotype:

Sort who would join a guerrilla force


Dalliance:

De fusin of two Gansta Gangs


Damascene:

What a film censor may do when it dawns on him that it may be unacceptable


Damask:

Wot da gangsta wear when 'e's robbin a bank


Damnation:

A Nation not in accord with another's foreign policy


Damselfish:

Egotistical


Dandle:

A suspended candle


Danegeld:

Compulsory castration (Denmk)


Daphnia:

Not far according to person with a cleft palate


Dayak:
Hairy Cow wot come from da Himalayas


Dazed:

Bewilderment after drink about which day it is


Deadlock:

Hair on floor of Rastafarian barbershop


De-aerate:

Cost of Jamaican airline ticket


Deaf:

What happens at the end of a Cockney's life


Debark:

Outer covering of Jamaican trees


Debate:

Argument concerning entrapment sting


Debit:

The part remaining to be paid (esp. for computer finance)


Decalogue:

Throw the caber


Deceitful:

Answer in W. Indian restaurants, cinemas etc., to "is this seat free" when it is not.


Deceive:

How to solve the riddle of the sands


Decennial:

Tenth denial.


Decent:

Wot de sistas put behind their ears and in their cleavage when on the pull


Decentralize:

Washing the above off


Deception

Disappointing wedding breakfast


Decimal:
(See Badge)


Decision:

The act of sewing up surgical wound


Decoct:

State of female during and after coitus interruptus


Decoke:

Process of rehabilitation and recovery from drugs (e.g going in for a d.)


Decolletage:

Age range when low neckline is permissible or not unadvisable


Decolonize:

1. Act of administering a purgative
2. What happens after administration of purgative


Decolorize:

Release someone from police custody


Decompose:

What musicians do when dead


Decompress:

Posh word for fart


Decorum:

What one best does with apples and some other fruit before easting


Decrepit:

What one throws senile dead people into


Decrease:

Found between black person's buttocks


Dedicate:

What ignorant hit men do with malapropos


Defame:

Notoriety of the black community



Defeat:

What one tramples losers with


Defect:

Fault of traitors


Defloration:

Something that happens in horizontal position, usually on the floor


Deft

Left with a cold in the head


Delectation:

Milking time on a posh farm


Delegated:

Someone nominated to be an amputee (see IRA)


Deliberation:

Thoughtful removal of personal freedoms


Deliquescence:

The age at which one receives baptism as a delinquent


Delirious

What Italy became on joining the euro



Delusory:

Imagining one's self to have lost


De Luxe:

1. What Jamaican lottery-winners have
2. How they live afterwards


Delve:

Dig elves



Demagogue:

Half a synagogue


Demeanour:

Behaviour of a nastier person


Demit:

What the Queen says when annoyed


Demiurge:

Half a mind to


Demonize:

Description of the current Pontiff's regard

Demonstrable:

Able to be shown to be a monster



Dendrites

Sect of tree worshippers


Diacritical:

Wife who dies nagging


Diadem

Fear of death by tiaras (don't want to diadem)


Dieresis:

1. Speech marks to denote logorrhoea
2. Sister with the runs

Diagnose:

Crooked nose


Dialectician:

Specialist in nutritional vocabulary


Diameter:

Welsh measuring device

Dianetic

Welsh scientologist


Diatomic:

Worker at Welsh nuclear installation


Diction:

Ostracise Dick


Didicoi:

1. What gypsies keep in fishponds
2. Small ornamental carp


Diet:

Consumed (welsh. Past tense)


Difficult:

Troublesome religious sect


Digest:

Welsh joke


Dik Dik:

Antelope with two penises


Diktat:


1. What a flasher did
2. A funny party hat


Dilator:

Medical instrument that saves lives

Dilemma:

What Lemmings find at the edge of cliff


Dimension:

Welsh name-dropper


Diminuendo:

Stupid double meaning (See this dictionary)


Dimorphic:

Of typically Welsh form



Dinar

1. Yugoslavian Luncheon voucher
2. Meal paid for by same


Dinkum:

Something said by impotent Australian


Diorite:

What we all do eventually


Dioxide:

Crime of killing two male cattle


Dipthong:

What scantily-clad women do in swimming pools or the sea

Diploma:

Swelling of head due to education


Diplomate:

Educated partner


Dipso:

What you are if you drink too much (You are in a bar dipso facto you are drinking too much)


Dipteran:

What flies did after the wings were pulled off


Dissafforest:

Where dis animal live. Dissafforest and dese is trees


Disease:

Word understating the pain and agony of the condition it describes


Disentitle:

To severe the mammary glands


Disfrock:

1.Action which if practised among the clergy can lead to it happening (syn. Unfrock)
2. Early stage of foreplay


Disgruntle:

Remove the oink from pigs

Disjoint:

The act of breaking and sharing a spliff


Disorientation:

Forceful repatriation of eastern immigrants


Dissuade:

Polish shoes which should be polished



Doctrinal:

Doctors' urinal



Dodgem:


Facsimile precious stone to avoid


Doeskin:

Practicant of illegal act of incest (see Tennessee)


Doleful:

Pertaining to jobseeker coming out of benefits office


Dollop:

Shapeless hussy


Dolmen:

Guys who prefer inflatable plastic


Domicile:

Home-loving cretin


Dominant:

One who dominates small insects



Doric:

A column capital in shape of a skull (see amulet - 'alas poor Doric')



Doughnut:

Money loving person


Dowager:

Bet on a boat race in Arabia


Doxology:

Study of trollops


Dozen:

Twelve witches asleep


Draff:

Rubbishy long necked African wild animal


Drawback:

Coitus interruptus


Duomo:

Two gay Italians


Dwarf:

Stunted Klingon