Not The Oxford English Dictionary Vol 5

Cabal:
Enclosure for Taxis


Cabin:
Waste receptacle in Taxi


Cachalot:
1.Over -fishing (fr.)
2. Bent lottery
3. Successful fielder (crick. Basebl.)

Cachectic:

Hurried defaecation


Cacophony

1. Making music with farts
2. Recording farts


Cadaveric:

Dead Maverick


Cadet:

Money owed to young person

Caecum:

1. Unspeakable act after sodomy
2. Whale or fish sperm


Cahoot:

Conspiratorial owl


Calcination:

Nation with high level of cement production


Camelia:

1.More camel-like
2.More populated with Camels


Canaan:

Middle-eastern bread


Canopy:

1.Make-shift urinal
2.Budweiser Beer

Candescent:

Dribble left on the side of a can of thick foodstuff


Candidate:

Go out with female of uncertain provenance (see candid)


Candlestick:

Lewd act with candle


Candy:

Mortal


Cannonade:

Soft drink for clergymen


Canteen:

Promiscuous adolescent


Carcinoma:

What Itlalian says when he has left car behind


Career:

Deafness caused by driving (see carrier)


Carousal:

Getting a car to start


Carpet:

1. Stupid nodding plastic dog
2. Automotive foreplay (carpetting)


Cartouche:

Small automobile collision


Cashier:

Loan shop sign


Castanets:

What Spanish and Italian fishermen do


Castrate:

Pay of actors


Casualty:

Gratuitous refreshment


Catalepsy:

Feline epilepsy


Catalog:

Feline stool


Cataplasm:

1.Exudate from psychic feline
2.Poultice for felines

Cathedral:

Pertaining to a catahedron (an angular cat)


Catkin:

Feline genealogical line

Caveat:

Protective helmet for speleology


Celebrator

Sex aid for film star


Celerity:

Fast-growing celery


Cellist:

Prison inventory


Censorship:

HMS, SS or USS, *************


Centralise:

Cyclops-like


Chagrin:

Rueful smile during sex act


Chantry:

Refuse to attemp


Chaste:

Pursued but not caught


Chestnut:

Tit man


Chick pea:

Bird urine


Chickweed

(see chick pea -past tns)


Chinchilla:

Cold wind in Andes


Chinook:

Fastener for false beard


Chink:

Hole in bamboo curtain


Chip munk

Member of religious order (see deep-fat Friads)


Chirrup:

To brighten up one's mood


Chit:

Toilet ticket


Chives:

Caused by allergy to onions


Chlorinate:

Pee bleach


Chortle:

Laughing turtle


Christendom:

Fetish involving forced baptism


Chronicle:

Persistent icicle


Chronologer:

Long-term house guest


Chubby:

Overweight husband


Churchwarden:

Air raid shelter under church


Cicada:

1. Vomit more strongly
2. Ill snake


Cinderella:

Burned remains of umbrella


Cinnamon:

Wicked Scot


Citizen:

Feng shui for town planning



Clamorous:

Description of horny shellfish


Clamour:

Love of shellfish



Claptrap:

Fly-swatter



Classifier:

Found in grates in country houses of the gentry


Cloak:

Sound of chinese frog


Cockchafer:

Beetles found in tight underpants


Committee:

1. Found on russian golf courses
2. Beverage drunk by Russians


Concoct:

Adjective describing somebody equipped with dildo