Monday, 30 November 2009
Santazia - Go on buzz the old pervert
With the Christmas run-up, all the major stores and websites have announced the top selling toys for the festive season. Despite the recession they expect to run out fast so here they are, get your orders in quick.
Speaking Naked Barbi Bi/Lesbo
Naked fully functional fun version of this popular doll.
Get her really in the groove - buy two they just slot together
No clothes necessary, long term savings for parents
Choice of voice ('yeah, turn me on butch, bang my slot' or 'Ken, the ceiling needs painting')
Condom Ken optional extra ($39.99)
$39.99
Barbi's friend Butch Brenda (choice of colour)
Complete with polyester underarm hair and crew cut
$39.99
Polly pocket Slappers on the Razzle
Stand them up! They fall over vomiting and show their cute little asses
Compatible with Rooney tunes Shaven head Morons, get them together in a back alley!
(Alco-pop refills extra)
$29.50
Bates Hotel (Transylvania families collection)
Spooky playhotel, realistic blood
(Norman and Mumskull figures extra)
$89.95
Bendy Baby X
This ground-breaking post-modern toy includes real bruises (moveable stick on), breakable bones and complete Social Work dossier
(For children over reading age. Paint-on faeces extra)
NEW NEW NEW!!!!!
The Littlest Puppy
Barks, knows its name, pisses on carpet yelps when kicked
(Price to be advised)
Bratz size zero
Computer version of favourite dolls.
She starts as Medium Mary, choose the right diet she could become Anorexic Annie, Size Zero Zelda, or Fat Slag Freda. In trouble? Beat the Bulimia button. Fly the vomit comet she really becomes weightless! Nearly dead visit the McDo Mall? Depressed? Blow a fortune. Happy? Take her a fashion show.
Hours of fun (psychiatrist not included)
$120 (requires PC)
Cathouse - the board game
Get all the punters.
Learn all the tricks - earn more dollars!
Catch a dose - Pay Doctors fees, stay at home miss a go
Pass a dose - advance three tricks.
What square will you land on? Creepy-eyed Jim from Tulsa?
Will you manage to keep on top of fat Phil or will he smother you.
Get more dough if the stupid bastard falls in love with you.
Online version also available, play against real hookers and crack ho's
$120 (room rent extra)
Keep your Kiddy safe this Christmas
Will your kids be seeing Santa, sitting on his lap in a Lapland Grotto?
Give them the Santazia Grotto Groin Blasterby Kiddysafe(TM).
Santa's hands starting to wander?
Is he groaning while he bounces them on his knee?.
Just dig-in the special electrodes press the button and See Santa really jerk-off!
$99.99 (over 18 only - no permit required)
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