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Showing articles written by Matt Morchower.


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Funny story:  Part 3 of Many: Stuck in Therapy with Failed TV Hosts

Part 3 of Many: Stuck in Therapy with Failed TV Hosts

Therapist clicks on Dictaphone following session. No new people. Joan Rivers kept bringing her daughter and dog, and we had to kick her out. The daughter has mommy issues: not my field. Arsenio Hall got another show, and was so eager to book Bell Biv Devoe that he skipped out the door. "I'm so glad he has to suffer no more," said Ann Curry. "The world was unfair to him." We've got a...
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Funny story:  The Eight Types of Your Facebook Profile Photos

The Eight Types of Your Facebook Profile Photos

1. Solo Shot: The standard. 2. Pet: A little off-center, but passable. Can be cute. 3. Kids: Asking for guy in white van to abduct him/her. Or, "look what I made!" Yo, your kid isn't an art project. 4. With Friend: How attached are you? And which one are you? Get your own identity. 5. With Boyfriend/Girlfriend: "Nobody thought I could do it...so there. Especially my single friends...
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Funny story:  I'm Stuck In Rehab With Failed TV Hosts (Part 2)

I'm Stuck In Rehab With Failed TV Hosts (Part 2)

Therapist clicks on dictaphone to review session and begins speaking. Arsenio Hall just got a new show so he's out of here. Some no-shows today, more manageable group. Just when we had some breathing room, here comes Ann Curry, crying all over her silk scarf and over-emoting. Today we had Conan O'Brien (will this guy ever leave?), Denis Miller, Craig Kilborn, Marilu Henner, Pat Sajak a...
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Funny story:  I'm Stuck In Therapy With Failed TV Hosts (Part 1 of Many to Come)

I'm Stuck In Therapy With Failed TV Hosts (Part 1 of Many to Come)

Therapist into Dictaphone: I can't believe the people in group. Conan O'Brien. Chevy Chase. Pat Sajak. Chevy Chase. Magic Johnson. Marilu Henner. Tony Danza. Arsenio Hall. Craig Kilborn. Dennis Miller. Joan Rivers. Megan Mullaly. It's the bar scene in Star Wars. Only more narcissistic. Man, what a bunch of crybabies. Nobody can understand Magic Johnson. Conan O'Brien keeps cr...
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Funny story:  I'm Having a Damn Ball

I'm Having a Damn Ball

Since when did all commentary on basketball, incorporate the word, "Basketball?" I watched way too much of the NBA Playoffs. The only thing more infuriating that seeing LeBron James win a championship, was listening to the announcers' jargon. All you have to do is listen to ABC commentator and apparent calculus genius Mike Breen say with puzzling enthusiasm for 579 consecutive games, "Let's...
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Funny story:  Arsenio: I'm Back and Here's My First Monologue

Arsenio: I'm Back and Here's My First Monologue

The Hollywood Reporter (June 19, 2012) -- Arsenio Hall announced he will be returning to television with a new late-night talk show in 2013, after a 20 year absence. He has already shot and written his first monologue, which he has exclusively provided. THE NEW ARSENIO HALL SHOW FIRST MONOLOGUE, SHOW #001 COLD OPEN - SKIT: Bill Clinton: Antonio, congratulations on getting a new show. B...
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SAN DIEGO, CA--Five years after hearing it for the first time, Danny Orsi still has no idea that the
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