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Kenneth Manboobs
Kenneth Manboobs
Joined: 16 April 2004
Stories Written: 74
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Showing page 2 (of 167 pages)
Funny story:  'Large VAT, Dave, and put it on the slate'
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'Large VAT, Dave, and put it on the slate'

[Cheesy music, credits run] [Scene: The Winchester Club in Hammersmith] 'Wotcher, Dave, 'as Arfur been in today?' 'No, Tel, 'e's not been in for days. Why not try the lockup?' 'Yeah, might just do that. Give us a lager, please.' 'Comin' up.' [Detective Inspector Chisholm appears, followed by his Welsh sergeant, Terry McCann starts to quickly leave] ''Old it, McCann! Where are you going...
View 'Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part ner ner ner 19'

Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part ner ner ner 19

"Hold it right there!" the skinny guy in the bad suit shouts. He's stood behind a goggle eyed woman, one hand clamped over her mouth, the other holding a knife to her throat. "You take one step...just one step and she's history. I mean it." The woman squeals. Buck, Abel Zorro and Nick exchange furtive glances. Abel Zorro steps forward, AK in one hand, sabre in the other. His eyes na...
Funny story:  The Italian Scallion
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The Italian Scallion

Why Italian Mammas Make Their Sons Eat Their Veggies and Their Women Are Glad Of It There once was an ugly Italian Who would hourly consume a scallion. One would think that his breath Would drive his wife to death... But, in bed, it made him a stallion. The End...
View 'Not The Oxford English Dictionary. Vol 4'

Not The Oxford English Dictionary. Vol 4

Baa: Noise of frustration made by sheep Baal: (vb) Get a false God off the hook Baboosh: Stuttering hick president Babel: Something one puts around neck of good-looking girl so jealous boyfriend can fid her easily Babylon: Talk fast in ancient Hittite language Backlog: Behind dead tree (see backwoods) Backslider: Derogatory term for Gay person Backstairs: Entry at Gay...
Funny story:  The Top 20 Most Borrowed Nudist Books From The World's Most Interesting Man, Fernando Monte Verde's Library
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The Top 20 Most Borrowed Nudist Books From The World's Most Interesting Man, Fernando Monte Verde's Library

The Top 20 Most Borrowed Nudist Books From The World's Most Interesting Man, Fernando Monte Verde's Library (Usually kept at the mansion of Fernando Monte Verde, but these are kept for guests aboard his yacht, The Conquest. They are all first editions and signed by the authors.) 20. The Bobbitt 19. Pride & Pecker, Just 18. Lord Of The Penis Rings 17. Wee Willie's Wanker 16.
Funny story:  9/11 Millionaire Mastermind  in Jeopardy  - Gets Second Chance in a Civilian Court in New York
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9/11 Millionaire Mastermind in Jeopardy - Gets Second Chance in a Civilian Court in New York

Contestants up in arms Previous contestants in the 9/11 Millionaire Mastermind in Jeopardy championship series were up in arms today because a fellow contender has been given a second chance to get the answers right. "It very unfair, he no give right answers at GITMO why they sons of camels give him free trip to New York for second go?" Said Sayeed Farooqu' al Forooqui Ali Khat, on of t...

Funny story:  Pope Expected to Top  Christmas Charts! - New Release Announced Today - Sneak Preview of Tracks and Lyrics
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Pope Expected to Top Christmas Charts! - New Release Announced Today - Sneak Preview of Tracks and Lyrics

The Pope has released his block buster record, set to hit the charts and make number one for Christmas World-wide, Catholics in every country will be buying it because it comes with remission from sins for those who play it non-stop both at home and on the radio and TV. At the Spoof we have a sneak preview of some of the tracks. The title of the disc? "Paved with good intentions" 1. Papa was a...
Funny story:  'Miss Marple and the Case of the Flying Duck'
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'Miss Marple and the Case of the Flying Duck'

As Miss Marple reached for her knitting needles she heard the ting of a bicycle bell, and looking out of her window she saw the imposing figure of the village policeman Sergeant Constable coming up her path, and then there was a knock on the door. 'Why, good morning, Sergeant', she said, and then opened the door, 'what can I do for you?' 'Could I have a word with you, Miss Marple?' 'Certainly,...

Funny story:  Latest! Amy Winehouse Stalker Sentenced!
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Latest! Amy Winehouse Stalker Sentenced!

The jury has finally decided in the Amy Winehouse stalker case and have declared one Michael Jeppards of New Jersey guilty but insane. "You honor, this man Jeppards is obviously a mental case. Just look at his diary. "Followed my Amy into the bar on Second Avenue, followed her into another bar on Third and Vine, then followed her to a third bar that I can no longer remember as that was six hour...
Funny story:  Susan Boyle Is Seeing Stalkers
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Susan Boyle Is Seeing Stalkers

The Clinic: Today: "Nurse - Nurse - Come Quick! SuBo's seen another Stalker!! Bad news alas on the 'Builders Bardot' front. Following her on-stage catastrophe with the white stallion at The Crazy Horse in Paris, Susan has admitted herself back into rehab. "Miss Boyle is seeing things of a sexual nature", announced Matron Anne Wilmslow. "She thinks everyone's after her gorgeous body an...

Funny story:  Letter from the Prime Minister Gordon Brown
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Letter from the Prime Minister Gordon Brown

Following his recent ridiculing on the Spoof web site regarding his spelling error in a letter to a deceased soldier's mother, the Spoof received a strongly worded letter from the pen of the PM himself. Deer Spoof.Con, Inn you're resent articul ewe had the timerety too ridicool my speling. Eye bee leave that this was injust hand complitely unfare. Eye was the fourtunate resipient of a privet...
Funny story:  Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre -  Part 18
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Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part 18

Our friends tread carefully into the dilapidated house. It's a dump, but at least they can hear the raging storm outside, so they understand that they are rapidly approaching freedom... When a voice cuts them all to the quick. As opposed to cutting them to the slow. Which would be taking dramatic license too far. All they could hear prior to this interruption was the sound of their...

Funny story:  Modern Government Philosophers
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Modern Government Philosophers

The third and last installment of the Government Philosopher series looks at present-day experts on how government works. These people have built on the work of philosophers of the past and added a modern flavour. All of these four people are still making contributions to the advancement of the government system. Annie Portner-Storum (1965 - present) An experienced Minister Ms Porter-Storum...
Funny story:  The Spoof Club in Brussels
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The Spoof Club in Brussels

Part One It was a private club. The kind you might find down a dark alley in the warehouse district of San Francisco, but not as outwardly flamboyant as the Trocadero might be on a Wednesday night. Members knew it only as the "Skoob and Thistle", slightly reminiscent of a small Scottish pub replete with solid brick exterior walls and a single, windowless, hardwood door stained in walnut brown...

Funny story:  Not The Oxford English Dictionary Volume 3
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Not The Oxford English Dictionary Volume 3

Alienator: Machine for making aliens Aliment: Explain what an arab says Allege: A pretend shelf Alligator: Large Egyptian riverine reptile Allow: Measure approximating to half a marshmallow Aloe: Familiar Mexican plant Alone: 1.To have only one debt 2. Description of state of eing when you owe nothing to nobody Aloof: 1. A type of Scottish bread 2. De...
Funny story:  Not The Oxford English Dictionary Volume 2
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Not The Oxford English Dictionary Volume 2

Abbot: Religious internet search device Abdomen: Fanatical bodybuilders Abstemious: Description of visual impairment cause by alcohol withdrawal Accurate Very precise churchman Viper: Snake cleaner Adipose: To position a fat artist's model Administer: 1. Minister of finance 2. Minister of propaganda Admirable: A smart hig-ranking naval officer Admir...

Funny story:  Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part 17
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Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part 17

Angie is feeling deflated because she never got the chance to sing her karaoke version of Gloria Gaynor's feminist anthem, 'I Will Survive.' Her nipples haven't given up the ghost just yet though. They're as upstanding as a pair of Chrysler wheel nuts. Boyfriend Todd isn't much consolation either. Not since Angie learned that her mother gave him a blow job. She's really pissed off. "Ba...
Funny story:  World History 101-Abbreviated
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World History 101-Abbreviated

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter. The two most important events in all of history were: 1. The invention of beer, and 2. The invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer easier, and the bee...

Funny story:  J. Alfred Frimley 6. Gonzopoorn is upset
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J. Alfred Frimley 6. Gonzopoorn is upset

I got an invitation today. I never get anything like that at all usually, but old Mr. Leer from the builders' merchants where I used to work is getting a coach party together to go to "Buildo-2009" the big exhibition they have every year for builders'merchants up in West Bromwich. They show all the new tools and stuff, plumbing supplies and glues and all that. Now Mr. Leer has branched out int...
Funny story:  Oprah Learns That Her Recomended Book, "Snake In The Popcorn Bag" Was Another Hoax"
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Oprah Learns That Her Recomended Book, "Snake In The Popcorn Bag" Was Another Hoax"

You would have thought Oprah Winfrey would have caught on by now but she's fallen for it again. This time the author, Ms. Prissy Henpecker, the author of "The Snake In The Popcorn Bag" had sat right there in front of Oprah, the audience and ten zillion television viewers and swore that the she had actually went on a date when she was 16 to a movie theater with one Leon, a snake handler. Th...

Funny story:  Satan Lashes Out at SUN for Criticism of Mandelson
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Satan Lashes Out at SUN for Criticism of Mandelson

According to the BBC, "Lord Mandelson has accused the Sun newspaper of portraying Gordon Brown's government as the "enemy" of UK troops in Afghanistan rather than the Taliban. The Tory-supporting paper's criticism of the PM over an alleged spelling mistake in a note to a bereaved mother was "crude politicking", he said. " Now the hacks here at the spoof don't read the Sun, except for its spo...
Funny story:  J. Alfred Frimley 5.  They Shall Not Pass!
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J. Alfred Frimley 5. They Shall Not Pass!

I don't like Saturdays. I used to when I was younger. I used to go to the dance at the Legion Hall every week in those days. "The George Boon Dance Quartet"; I can see them now, Trumpet, Drums, Saxophone and Guitar and on alternative weeks he'd have his missus in the band on Accordion. I don't mind saying it myself, but I was quite a mover particularly at the Valeta. I met quite a few girls that w...

Showing page 2 (of 167 pages)

Breaking News...

New Fun-Sized Icebergs

Giant iceberg spotted this summer had shrunk to a smaller iceberg and now laughable little ice cubes that many boats ram into for the fun of it.

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