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Marty Robbins
Joined: 24 July 2008
Stories Written: 6
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Funny story:  My Note To Gordon Brown Against The Death Penalty (English Work)
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My Note To Gordon Brown Against The Death Penalty (English Work)

Dear Prime Minister Following your recent "success" as a "Fantastic And Inspirational Leader" I'm going to discuss how bringing back the death penalty will be just as "successful" as the BNP leader Nick Griffin trying to get the public vote by wearing a mankini to work. If we had the death penalty the whole of the uk would have a life expectancy of around 5 minutes if they are lucky enough a...
View 'Spoof Club Part Quattro'

Spoof Club Part Quattro

The Search for Redlich - Feeling like it might still be the day before tomorrow, I wandered in a pleasant haze through Leidseplein Platz looking for the perfect all-beef Chicago hot dog with spicy brown mustard and freshly cut onions. It took another 2 hours of walking in circles, hard to do in a public square, but completely rational behavior for one still blown away by the quality of the...
Funny story:  Not The Oxford English Dictionary Vol. 7
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Not The Oxford English Dictionary Vol. 7

Daguerreotype: Sort who would join a guerrilla force Dalliance: De fusin of two Gansta Gangs Damascene: What a film censor may do when it dawns on him that it may be unacceptable Damask: Wot da gangsta wear when 'e's robbin a bank Damnation: A Nation not in accord with another's foreign policy Damselfish: Egotistical Dandle: A suspended candle...
View 'Billy Bob Thornton To Do "The Alan Greenspan Story"'

Billy Bob Thornton To Do "The Alan Greenspan Story"

We thought it impossible but Billy Bob Thornton has captured the raw courage, the great excitement of Federal Chairman Alan Greenspan, over those hectic years. Alan Greenspan (born March 6, 1926) was THE American economist who served as Chairman of the Federal Reserve of the United States from 1987 to 2006. This reporter was simply amazed at the sneak preview. The door opens. Congress is...
Funny story:  Five Ways to Brighten a Dull Day in the Office
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Five Ways to Brighten a Dull Day in the Office

Life in the public service, or any other bureaucracy for that matter, can have its boring moments when nothing appears to be happening. This may happen quite a lot if you are implementing the five paradigms of government properly. In times like these, you will need to have some ways to brighten up your day and give your public service life some meaning. Cultivate a Grudge All good bureaucra...
Funny story:  BBCI's Saturday Night Schedules - January 2010
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BBCI's Saturday Night Schedules - January 2010

6.00 - The News with Hugh Edwards 6.01 - The News with Kate Silverton 6.02 - Russel Brand 6.03 - Jonathan Ross 6.04 - Hole in the Wall. Not the Game show, an actual hole in a wall. 6.15 - Fixing a Hole in the Wall. Aled Jones and Nick Knowles discuss DIY with Handy Andy. 6.50 - Kerry Katona's TV Fart - Once more, BBC 'borrows' a format from ITV 7.20 - Your Parents have heard of me!! Can I h...

Funny story:  Gordon Brown's New Year Resolution
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Gordon Brown's New Year Resolution

1) Hand over power to someone younger. 2) Hang out with Tony Blair more. 3) Hang out with David Cameron less. 4) Smile. 5) Shake Hands with people less. 6) Finish War and Peace. 7) Or at least one of them. 8) Write Memoirs. 9) Thank actor David Morrisey for playing me on screen. 10) Finish my projected volume of 15,000 haiku's. 11) Invent the 77 blade razor, because you can never get too...
Funny story:  Pope decries new Sins of Faith
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Pope decries new Sins of Faith

Vatican City, Rome - Just when we thought we had them all covered! Today, Pope Benedict has come out with a whole new list of 'Sins' to avoid. "It was time to update from the original '7 Ghastly Sins' to a more updated version since the original are over rated anyway!" Said a Vatican spokesman. Today's new 'Sins' will include: Polluting the planet or any heavenly bodies within 200 miles.

Funny story:  The Queen's Speech In Full
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The Queen's Speech In Full

'At this time of the year we know it is a special time for you and your families, but this year has been a difficult one for many. Some will have struggled with managing household bills, some will have had to spend less on heating in their castles, some will have had to cut back on the number of servants they have. Our own family only had eight months' holiday this year, and even our eldest son...
Funny story:  Not The Oxford English Dictionary Vol. 6
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Not The Oxford English Dictionary Vol. 6

Confection: 1.Infection common in prisons 2. Counterfeit sweeties Confederation European union sham Conference: A conspiracy of tricksters Confessor: University teacher with bogus qualifications Confine: Punishment given to street Hustler Confirm: 1. Company manufacturing conterfeit goods 2. Shell Company Confluence: The influence of criminality...

Funny story:  'Budgie in the Wind' by Elton Swan and Budgie Taupin released
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'Budgie in the Wind' by Elton Swan and Budgie Taupin released

After the tragic death of Sarah MacNamara's pet budgerigar this week in Liverpool, Sir Elton Swan released this song as a tribute to the People's Budgie: 'Budgie In The Wind Goodbye Scallywag Though I never knew you at all You had the grace to preen yourself And chase a wee toy ball Cat sneaked out of the shadows And made a grab for your wing You flew back to the kitchen And still c...
Funny story:  'Arthur Daley and the Scottish Managers'
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'Arthur Daley and the Scottish Managers'

[Scene: The Winchester Club, London] 'So get round to the lockup as soon as you've had your drink, Terry, I've got a large delivery of Scottish managers needing unloading.' 'Do what?' 'You know, lots of Scottish football managers. There'll be a few crates of Moyeses and Coyles, and if we're lucky maybe a Ferguson or two. But don't let them Jocks sell you short, you know how canny they like to b...

Funny story:  Satan and God Appear on Sesame Street - Forces of Good and Evil Clash- Elmo's Bed Catches Fire In Prelude to Kingdom Come.
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Satan and God Appear on Sesame Street - Forces of Good and Evil Clash- Elmo's Bed Catches Fire In Prelude to Kingdom Come.

The fortieth anniversary of Sesame Street, bite-sized education program has glittered with it's all-star A-List guests including the First Lady Michelle Obama. However, the final episode in the anniversary series promises to be a bock-buster with two guests never before seen on TV even on Larry King Live. The Spoof has had a sneak look at the rushes and we can inform you that the final guests...
Funny story:  Spoof Club Part Drie
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Spoof Club Part Drie

The Train to Amsterdam Deep sleep would have been welcome after a long day of story search and a late night of Jalapeno eating and professional bull riding, but I was awakened by my roommates who were shuffling around the floor, packing up their duffels. The youth hostel near the train station in Etterbeek had a curfew, but I managed to see the building manager outside the night before, having...

Funny story:  American's Change The Rules In Sports?
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American's Change The Rules In Sports?

It seems now days the world finds Americans exceedingly pompous when it comes to sports. We claim to have the "World Champions" at the end of a season. To countries around the globe who did not participate in that particular sport this may seem confusing. How can we have the "Worlds" best team? Easy, America is the world. Christopher Columbus found this "New" World which means everyone el...
Funny story:  'From Russia With Free Love' by Ian Flaming
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'From Russia With Free Love' by Ian Flaming

James Bond walked into his office in Central London this morning with a sense of futility, for he could hardly stand another day of doing paperwork. 'Morning, James', his secretary Miss Moneylaundry said to him, but he merely grunted a reply and went through to his desk. 'There's a memo for you from M', she called through to him, and his eyes lit up as he realised another mission was about to b...

Funny story:  Spoof Club Part Deux
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Spoof Club Part Deux

"The Bitters Bordello" It was 2:00 AM Brussels time when I made my way out of the Skoob & Thistle, still waiting for the burn to stop from the Jalapeno cheese burger I had consumed minutes before. I followed McCarthy's instructions down the alley towards the door with the glow of a red neon light washing over hand hewn cobblestone. McCarthy wasn't kidding. The neon tube had been twiste...
Funny story:  Blossoming like a Rose
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Blossoming like a Rose

No wonder if men have loved so much their mom. For instance, Neal E. Boyd, the winner of $1-million prize of America's Got Talent, 2008, during his audition, repeatedly cried, shed tears and emphasized his love for his mom. Man comparatively differs pretty much from other members of the animal kingdom, to the extents that one doubts a common creator. The female of this species, somehow differs...

Funny story:  Nostradamus predicted Michael Jackson's death in 1555!
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Nostradamus predicted Michael Jackson's death in 1555!

Paris, France - In 1555, a French Renaissance occultist and seer, the famous Nostradamus predicted: Quatrain CXXV'In the year of our Lord 2009, will come a dark moon over the pale face of a black man called Son of Jack, he would unite with a tender virgin of royal birth and be born three, but not from the daughter of Elvin the Prestlee, a Lydian leader of fame, from this union will result a whi...
Funny story:  9 out of 10 people agree....Michael Jackson was an asshole!
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9 out of 10 people agree....Michael Jackson was an asshole!

So, the people's endorsements are in. THey've voted and had their opinions heard. Our roving reporter has some startling information about how 'real Americans' feel about the late King Of Pop. The Michael Jackson memorial at Staples Center gave the Hollywood Mighty a chance to show off their grief in the usual plastic glitter that showcases Hollywood style and values. Three hundred dollar s...

Funny story:  Not The Oxford English Dictionary Vol 5
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Not The Oxford English Dictionary Vol 5

Cabal: Enclosure for Taxis Cabin: Waste receptacle in Taxi Cachalot: 1.Over -fishing (fr.) 2. Bent lottery 3. Successful fielder (crick. Basebl.) Cachectic: Hurried defaecation Cacophony 1. Making music with farts 2. Recording farts Cadaveric: Dead Maverick Cadet: Money owed to young person Caecum: 1. Unspeakable act after sodomy 2. Whale or fis...
Funny story:  Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part 20 - The Final Chapter
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Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part 20 - The Final Chapter

The gang gather in the dilapidated house. Dastardly Deano is nowhere to be seen. Outside the storm rumbles on. Lightning streaks the sky, thunder rumbles, the wind howls, and the rain floods down in torrents. "Where'd he go?" Buck shouts. "Fucker disappeared innit," Nick says. Then something strange happens. There's a chattering sound, and the pitter patter of feet on bare floorboar...

Showing page 1 (of 167 pages)

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New Fun-Sized Icebergs

Giant iceberg spotted this summer had shrunk to a smaller iceberg and now laughable little ice cubes that many boats ram into for the fun of it.

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