Gay sexual epidemic sweeps the UK

Treavor Slaughter has just entered his first year in the university. By all accounts, he should be a ladies man with beautiful girls rushing up to him every moment. Good looking, wealthy, and totally engaging, he's the type that seems would offer any woman fun, adventure, and pleasurable company.

But things are different today in the UK. Treavor has decided to enroll in the new 'George Michael's School of Faggotry' located in London's gayest district.

Today, this is not an isolated incident, and Treavor is not alone. In fact, the Labour Party enlisted the help of a renowned third-party research think tank to examine the current state of male sexuality in the UK. The findings were startling and sobering....A full 90% of British males are gay or profess a desire to be gay in the near future! The other 10% reportedly live in Scotland with their sheep!

Enrollment is up in more than 150 gay training institutions across Britain... And by more than 750%! Reports of successful transgender operations has increased by 1500% in London in 2009 alone! Even shoe manufacturers have reported a major upswing in the sales of womens shoes in size 12 to 13 and are having difficulty in procuring new stocks!

The report cites many reasons...The moral effect of media and entertainment figures like...George Michaels, Borat, Zac Efron, Clay Aiken, Adam Ant, Gary Glitter, Boy George, and many others who not only flaunt their homosexual agenda, but encourage others to do the same!

Even soccer has lost it's he-man appeal as younger men have taken to watching the ballet on weekends, and taking sword-swallowing, or gerbil training lessons during the week!

The report also cites the increased allure of Western culture, typically American, that has captured the hearts and minds of the women in the UK. This controverial report is supported by the fact that American males have been voted the 'Guys Most Likely To Make Me Juicy' for twenty straight years by the widely read UK GIRL Magazine.

Christopher Blane, author of the report, made this statement to sum up the American male difference.."Those chaps are, well....Just can do the horizontal mombo with real women so much better it seems!"

PM Gordon Brown also has entered the discussion by revealing that he too is considering 'going gay' in an effort to resolve splits in his Labour Party, and also to make it easier to get a date on Saturday nights.

Even his Royal Highness Prince Charles has made some lifestyle changes in the past year, by adding daily make-up sessions to his routine. He's vowed to dance merrily at some of London's hottest and gayest hotspots on a regular basis as well.

Recently, the Prince had this to say about being a part of the gay-trend...."It's not just for commoners anymore! The heck with being King....I'd sure settle for Queen."

The Queen has taken notice of the current epidemic and has sequestered herself, her dogs, and her husband in Balmoral Castle.