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Showing articles written by podell23.


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Funny story:  Goodbye College!

Goodbye College!

This will be my last e-mail from the University Of Oregon. As I walk around this dreary, dark campus, I have transcribed segments of a monologue that took place in my head: Good-bye university. Good-bye elitist higher education. Good-bye snobby egotistical self-motivated professors who spout endless babble in their monotonous, overly rehearsed dialogue. How many times do I have to hear of the e...
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Funny story:  It's Too Violent!

It's Too Violent!

I am at my parent's house watching the fifth hour of a DATELINE NBC marathon. After shaking the image of Stone Phillips ranting in depth about murders of young girls on tropical islands, identity theft (father's worst fear), global war, and climate change, I was ready to make some phone calls, and get my Saturday night started. I checked my text messages, and either God was watching the same Datel...
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Funny story:  Stop Or My Mom Will Nag!

Stop Or My Mom Will Nag!

Since the beginning of time, there has been conflict and war, and so it will be until the end of time. The only thing that changes is the weaponry. We were once angry cavemen throwing rocks and hand-crafted spears at one another, until we stepped up and created the fierce and deadly bow and arrow, flinging it at each other's heads with poison on the tips. Then, some curious warrior came across a s...
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Funny story:  Temperature Rising

Temperature Rising

As I walk through the valley of the shadow of blue ice-packs, I realize that buried deep somewhere beneath the lavender-scented, frozen bags lies a woman slightly resembling my mother, or the lovely woman I once recognized as mine. Currently experiencing a migraine headache caused by a result of a rush of hormones that shift faster and less predictability then the sharp turns of a New York cab dr...
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Funny story:  One Failed Swoop

One Failed Swoop

I think she likes me. You know what? Scratch that. It just can't be possible. Hell, with women, it's not even possible to tell if she likes you or would rather push you into oncoming traffic. The reality is, they usually just want a free Vodka-Cran. I suspect women even get a rush out of spinning a poor little guy like me into total, utter, and hopeless confusion over whether she recognizes my...
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