It is time for an ode to that great Olympic spokesman for planetary unity and peace, Russian Premier Vladimir Putin.
This is the very same Vlad The Impaler who is also a political schemer, liar and international underground terrorist.
Sing to the tune of the famous theatrical show tune Puttin' On The Ritz:
If you're buddy Yanukovych is screwed and don't know what to do
what to loot, who...
Yes, it is true.
Shameful but true.
It is always difficult for the children of those involved in criminal activities to confront their past and the social stigmas associated with such behavior, but at some time it must be faced.
My mother was a Margarine Smuggler.
(My hand shakes still as I type this.)
In the Wisconsin of the mid 20th century it was illegal to sell margarine. At all. Pe...
Reading comments after Yahoo articles are, at best, a good way to while away time in need of being wasted or in bringing your blood pressure to near hospitalization levels. Usually it is just full of mudslinging and name calling from one side of the the fence to the other with the other side retaliating shortly thereafter. On occasion, rare occasion that is, it does serve up a few comments and sto...
It was a demise that many have seen coming for a long time.
It is a tragedy whose full impact will not be noticed for a while to come.
All things of great worth that are brought into this world go through a cycle- a difficult and long birth, a formative period where it is ignored, misunderstood and its virtues recognized by few, then an ascendance and acceptance by the more intelligent and for...
There is a famous poem written about another famous invasion of Crimea from the 1800's- the British fighting the Russians on the Crimean Peninsula. It is called 'The Charge Of The Light Brigade' by Alfred Lord Tennyson and concerns itself with the insane and callous ordering of a Brigade of horsemen to attack a Russian battalion that had them surrounded on three sides. It was a popularly received...
A vast problem has developed with the disposal of the chemical weapons possessed by Bashar Assad's military in Syria. Used to cripple and decimate his own people, Assad escaped a bombing by U.S. Forces in retaliation by promising to turn all chemical weapons over to International powers that would inventory and get rid of them.
Unfortunately, no one wants to take them. Volunteers have come forw...
The Gates To Glory opened wide to accept young Jasheed as he entered the Jihadist Heaven he worked so hard to deserve. His trainers had always indoctrinated him on the wonders that would await him there were he to prove himself to be a true fundamentalist patriot. Now, his mission completed and multiple bodies torn apart by his suicide bomb including his own, he had now come to get his awards.
Now that the Super Bowl is over and you are either in euphoric heaven or the depths of despair depending upon your gridiron loyalties, let me proceed to burst your little bubble: the NFL is ripping you off.
Due to an old tax code created when the NFL and the AFL joined in 1966 they get to enjoy tax exempt status.
The NFL makes $9.5 billion a year.
Yes, $9.5 billion. How much do you make...
There are unknown, dark portions of our history that our leaders would just as soon we didn't learn of. There are secrets about those who are at the helms and have the stewardship of our country that would cause many to become sickened and to lose their patriotic fervor were they ever to be revealed. But that is what we are here for, to enlighten you dear folks, to make the opaque visible, to bri...
Far beyond the reaches of normal men's consciousnesses there exists a part of the etheric worlds where what could have been still can be. All events as remembered by the minds of men are not held fast in memories lock, but are fluid and flexible, and not confined to history's limiting pages.
All the conditions that led to so many 'historical' events, be they political, military, or even that m...
Go on the Internet and find a photo of the Octomom, aka Nadya Suleman, she of the cheaper by the dozen fame, having given birth to the near world's record of eight live and surviving births all at once. There are incredible pictures of her in a bikini. Unfortunately, I am unable to put those photos here with this article.
As you can see from the photos, she definitely looks like a fertile breed...
The Mouse has had enough.
Within his realm, The Mouse would be inscribed THE MOUSE, but here on this satire site we are safe from his surveillance and what could be misconstrued as a sign of disrespect.
At least for now, that is.
For years The Mouse has watched as young upstarts have corroded the Empire that he and his Master have so carefully and painstakingly put together.
It is frus...
There are many factors within the fray,
that have turned our Presidents hair to grey.
Pundits, done-thats and patriots galore
seek to sabotage him evermore.
These are the things that have turned our fearless leader's head from black to grey in only five short years:
Having Military Generals whisper to him that 'they would do a Kennedy' on him if he so much as tried to close Guantanamo Ba...
Twas the night before Christmas
and all through the house
not a creature was stirring
we were all totally soused.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care
with the kids still in them so they'd be out of our hair.
They were stuffing candies into their heads
as visions of cavities filled us with dread.
Momma and I settled down for a long winter's nap
right after a run to the bat...
Jang Song Thaek, second top gun in the North Korean Political Machine and uncle to the countries President Kim Jon Un, was truly astonished at the surprise party his nephew had for him on Tuesday.
"This is amazing!' stated Jang, who seemed genuinely astonished by the large contingent of soldiers waiting for him outside the Politburo. "But it isn't even my birthday!"
"Oh, don't concern yourse...
Sheldon- The Gold Standard For Geekdom.
Words alone cannot describe the wonderfulness of Sheldon Cooper.
The main star of the television series 'The Big Bang Theory' has set the new bar high for all those nerdists who will surely follow in his footsteps hereafter.
He is the penultimate geek, the very pinnacle of nerdism that is humanly possible outside of becoming a cyborg.
He is the...
New York has always fascinated the writer, the artist, the poet and the thousand of gawking tourists who hang around outside the Good Morning America show hoping they'll get filmed for their family to see back in Wichita. But everyone sees the Big Apple with a different eye. Two of the cities biggest believers, Woody Allen and Martin Scorsese, seem to be viewing it from different planets. Just how...
The Republicans, after years of doing nothing but bash President Obama's Health Care Act, have at last introduced one of their own.
Pooling their vast knowledge of human caring with aid from their endless sources of think tanks they have come up with a master plan to help those who are poorer than themselves and do not have the Congressional Insurance of life that they do: They will fly anyone...
The Reuters News Service has published the results of the voting on who (and what) wore the best costumes to the 2013 Halloween Ball at the White House. A hearty congratulations to all those who received a mention and a silver crucifix to Dick Cheney in the hope that he won't be disturbing us in our dreams anymore.
George W. Bush- Came as a Court Jester.
Nancy Pelosi- Came as Wonder Woman, a...
Good day guys.
How is it going?
Blow up anything fun today?
Shoot your quota of infidels yet?
OK, sorry you're having a bad day.
Just a few questions I wanted to ask you guys. (I am assuming you are all guys. I doubt you've opened a female branch)
Alright, lets get started here. Now I know you claim to be a religious organization. The "Holy Men of Allah" or something like that.
It was a phone call that President Obama didn't want to make, but he knew he would eventually have to. He also knew that it would do little good, but that it had to be made anyway. So, on Wednesday, he did. And he was right.
"Good day, Mr. LaPierre. How are you doing today?"
"Oh, I was OK until you called."
"Well, I am sorry to hear that. I think it is time for us to have a little chat."...
SHUT HER DOWN! SHUT HER DOWN!
Go ahead and shut the dinosaur down! It will be days before most people even would notice.
They don't seem to be able to do much lately except fight like Yuppie versions of the Hatfields and McCoys anyway.
While we're at it let's cut off the Senators and Legislators hospitalization for life on the taxpayers dime and suspend their pay...