"Brothers should pull up their pants," President Elect Barack Obama said when asked about laws being passed to outlaw sagging pants.
I respectfully disagree, Obie One. I rather see young men busy trying to keep their pants up, their colorful underwear showing, than cracks showing over low slung jeans.
We long ago crossed the line of decency. Slut is in. What does President Obama think...
I don't know about you, but for me wearing a noose is never politically correct, not even on Halloween.
It's 9:30 PM on Halloween. The poll workers have counted the totals for the day (over 1700 votes), cleaned up the room and got ready for the next day of early voting. One of the few white pollworkers pulls a noose around his neck and sticks a name tag on his chest with "CHAD" handwritten on...
When Tom Bradley lost the '82 California governor's race, everyone blamed it on race. He'd been ahead in the polls.
The Bradley effect refers to those who vote for the white candidate, yet tell pollsters they're undecided or likely to vote for a black candidate before the election.
I have a wild theory that on this election we'll have a similar phenomena in the reverse. The Military Eff...
"I feel like a man," said my 19 year old nephew after casting his ballot the other day.
He'd waited on line three times to vote, each time having to leave for class or some other obligation.
Finally he waited an hour and a half and did it. He voted on each initiative, and chose among 13 presidential candidates, then spoke to me cogently about his choices.
That little boy is now a man...
The Clerk doesn't seem to care for my presence inside the early voting site. I'm a certified pollwatcher, a volunteer for Barack Obama, there to ensure every vote is counted. I assume her focus is serving the hundreds of would-be voters that have been waiting on line for hours, many of them outside, under a hot sun. It's 2:00 PM and the temperature is in the 90's, with high humidity. Paramedics...
You just can't make this stuff up. Well, I'll try to envision what really happened there, how Neiman Marcus made Sarah Palin an action heroine. This is not about how Sarah traded a strong moral fiber for ultra expensive threads. Others have already covered that territory.
I think it all began when a Walmart tag stuck out of the neck of Sarah's ill fitting striped jacket. Poor Cindy McCain...
John McCain could do no worse than to dump Sarah Palin and bring in Cindy McCain as his running mate. Not only is Cindy smart and photogenic, but she has more practical and business experience than all the presidential and vice-presidential candidates put together.
In fact, when John was too busy politicking in Washington, Cindy bore his children and single handedly raise them. She helped p...
Grandmother grabs McCain's microphone during a town meeting and says, "I'm terrified. Obama's an evil Muslim, he'll kill us all."
"Not true," McCain replies. "Barack Obama is a good man, and if he wins, you can be sure this country will be in good hands. All we've been saying is, it'll be in better hands if I win."
"But what about what Sarah's been saying?" The woman insists.
"Senator...
I've just awakened to a new day, full of joy and hope for the future. My candidate has won by a landslide. The story this morning is no longer about who won, but by how much.
Half the political pundits are on their way to Alaska to go into torpor with the bears until spring, but I wouldn't mind if they hibernated for the next four years, perhaps eight.
The ringing of the opening bell a...
President Bush was rushed to Walter Reeed Hospital, having collapsed after giving a letter to a CNN reporter during a press conference.
The letter states the following:
"My Fellow Americans, I've come to realize I might be the worst President in the history of the United States. Yes, I had so much power and I've squandered it. I've wasted your hard earned tax dollars on a war to nowhere.
At a time of war, when our country's economic future looks as uncertain as Iraq paying for its own reconstruction, the country's insulted that John McCain couldn't find someone prettier and more qualified to be his running mate. Yes, he can use Palin's energy and spunk to give him a boost, but Angie has class.
He's after all an old man who's beginning to walk with a shuffle, looks grumpy and...
From 3 pages to 300, from $700 billion to $850 billion, from bad to worse.
Ok, folks, the bill approved by the Senate last night now looks like your run of the mill pork barrel spending, complete with concessions for wooden child arrows and those who bike to work (look it up, I'm not kidding). Oh, and the bill's suitably tied to a mental health initiative (you'd have to be nuts to make this st...
By now we know Sarah Palin's worldly because of Alaska's proximity to Russia. "They're our next-door neighbors and you can actually see Russia from land here in Alaska -- from an island in Alaska," she said to Charlie Gibson. "We have trade missions back and forth. We, we do, it's very important when you consider even national security issues with Russia as Putin rears his head and comes into t...
During her interview with Katie Couric, Sara Palin couldn't remember any Supreme Court cases, other than Roe v Wade. Was she told by McCain's handlers to stay away from Exxon v Baker, the case that put Alaska on the map?
The whole world heard about that disaster. We all saw the pictures of sea birds and sea otters covered in thick black crude oil. That was back in 1989, when the drunken cap...
February 1, 2009. President John McCain died in his sleep. President Palin makes her first phone call as President of the United States. She calls Vlad Putin.
After a polite greeting, Palin says, "I've been thinking Vladdy boy, that you and I should settle our differences. Perhaps you ought to bring your newest Kalashnikov, and we'll have at it."
Palin urges her Russian language interp...
Having softened the deep wrinkle between his brows with Restylane and Botox, Charlie Gibson hops on the three-day, non-stop, direct flight from New York to Anchorage to interview Governor Sarah Palin. From Anchorage he takes a puddle jumper to Juneau, the Alaskan seat of government. Population: 30k (but most of those are cruiseship passengers on the way to Mendenhall glacier).
"Good Morning C...
Monday, November 3, 2008. Day before the 56th consecutive quadrennial United States presidential election. John McCain and Barack Obama are neck-to-neck in the polls. They'd agreed to have one last debate, make their case before the American people go out to vote.
Looking amiable, the two men shake hands, but their backs are erect, arms rigid, robot like.
Tom Brokaw clears his throat and...
Ok, I'm an independent, but if I were a Republican I'd vote for the Democrats come November. That is, if I really, really loved my political party.
Why?
I can't think of a worse time to lead this nation. The mess we're in will take years to clean up. And cleaning is such a thankless job, so why not let the Democrats do it. They're good at it.
So, Republicans, listen up.
Take tha...
1. Palin. She can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan and never let the First Dude forget he's the man, but when it comes to the Russians, Iranians and their nukes? Hmm. I don't know.
2. He's not very colorful. He never fathered a black child out of wedlock and his Vietnam days didn't make him mentally unstable. Boring!
3. He's forgetful. Says he opposes...
1. He's black. I wouldn't be writing this if he were white.
2. He doesn't have an underage pregnant daughter. Obama's narrative would improve if his underage pregnant daughter hoped to marry the white kid whose bio reads: "I'm a f**kin' redneck who likes to snowboard and ride dirt bikes. But I live to play hockey. I like to go camping and hang out with the boys, do some fishing, sho...
Neither side wanted to blink first, so in the end 133 Reps and 94 Dems voted against the rescue plan. Maybe these legislators just couldn't approve a $700 billion dollar bailout after they heard us screaming bloody murder all week.
"Why should we bail out Wall Street fat cats and also give golden parachutes?", "Why should we use $700 billion to buy bad paper", "Where is that money going to c...
The red phone rings at the White House at 3:00 AM. Cindy McCain answers.
"Hellooo, who the heck is calling at this hour?" Mrs. McCain sits up on the bed in the Master Bedroom. The President sleeps peacefully, curled up next to her.
"Mrs. McCain, I must speak with your husband. The Venezuelans have in invaded Colombia…" the man sounds urgent.
"Is this another sales call?" she interrupts...