This was no I love Lucy show. There was nothing left to the imagination. I didn't have to figure out how Desi and Lucy had sex in their two twin beds or how the hell she got pregnant with little Ricky. It was all right there in front of God and everybody. This chick in the TV show I was watching, made more noise having sex then a wild rhino in heat .It was raw wild kingdom! There was so much panti...
I was standing in line at the grocery store when an elderly man with a smooth southern accent came up to me and said, "Miss? Do you use those softener sheets that you put in the dryer?" Thinking that he was loose in the grocery store and needed directions to the laundry products I said,
"Well, yes I do," preparing to point him in the right direction.
"I thought you might,' cause you've go...
All I wanted was some cheery music on the radio to ease my journey thru some sad traffic. My son told me about a radio station that was doing "all Christmas all the time", so like a sucker I tuned in. What a mistake.
The song White Christmas has always made me a little sad, but this new stuff made me suicidal. Hearing a song about a child wanting a pair of shoes for his mother because she s...
It was a night just like any other night. Farmer John of the Turkey Lurkey Ranch said good night to his flock of prize winning turkeys and turned out the light. All was peaceful down on the farm even though Farmer John was a little sad knowing that his feathered friends would soon be sent off to grace many a Thanksgiving table. Peaceful yes, or so he thought…
Soon in the barn under the cover of...
Yeah it takes balls to be a unique woman in this plastic, pumped-up polyfoam world. A world that worships women primped up and pimped out to please men with a Barbie doll ideal of a real woman. Doll like women that are fashioned to hang on the arm of some lame simpleminded macho prick that could not begin to appreciate the true beauty of someone as talented and wonderfully unique as Amy Winehouse...
It's not like I called every catalog company in North America and said "Hey, could you please send me one of those neato catalogs that you mail out?"
That never happened.
I admit the girl can shop. But 50 new catalogs per week, 49 of which I have never ordered anything from? I'm afraid to go to the mailbox for fear of running into our Korean letter carrier. The last time he saw me he s...
Call me crazy. Call me old fashioned. But I just don't get it.
Back in the day, we worked really hard not to look like a whore. Even when hot pants and mini skirts were in fashion, we did it with style and taste. Think of the model Twiggy. Long legs. Flat chest. She would never make it in today's world without pumped up ta-ta's and a pair of eight-inch stripper heels. Not to mention a tr...
A new British study from the University of The Perplexed suggests that only children have a better chance at happiness and as the last of five children I believe it. The number one reason they cite is that only children endure less bulling.
No kidding.
My older brother wanted me dead from the start. My aunt told me that when my mom went to the hospital to have me, my brother screamed...
I should have known better, but she put on a good speal and I bought in. Apparently all my problems could be fixed if I were to get all my energy points in alignment. Stress and tension would vanish and I would be able to see clearly through my third eye. After the first lesson the only stress I had was from the thought of going back…
It was Tai Chi and I had seen it in action when my son part...
I knew I had to get out, it was kill or be killed and I didn't want to die…...
There it was, hanging on the wall, oozing so much slaphappy sap, that it made a noxious puddle on the floor. "The Optimist Creed" it was called and I could hear it preaching at me, even from a distance. Once again some sicko had posted a "warm and fuzzy" on the bulletin board at work. It's message was clear, I needed to look at the sunny side of things, enjoy my health a...