SCRANTON, PA --- A staffer to Republican Party presidential primary candidate, Rick Santorum thought it was only an Etch a Sketch he accidently left in a cab. Only, after entering the Dunder Mifflin Paper Company where his boss was to give a speech did he realize it was Santorum's entire 'playbook' for what he would do if elected President of the United States.
Taxi driver, Julian Assange (no r...
Washington, DC - As a result of losses in the mid-term elections, President Obama fired his entire cabinet, as well as Press Secretary, Robert Gibbs. Newly appointed Press Secretary, Juan Williams, announced the President's new cabinet.
Attorney General: Judge Judy
Secretary of Agriculture: Buckwheat
Secretary of Commerce: Oprah Winfrey
Secretary of Defense: Chicago Bears
Secretary of Edu...
You haven't showered and are in the grubbiest clothes you own, when, you realize you need something at Lowe's. Depending on your age you might do the following:
In your 20's:
Stop what you're doing. Shave, take a shower, put gel in your hair, brush and floss your teeth, put on clean clothes and your Air Jordan 2010's. Where's my iPod? Check yourself in the mirror -- 'awesome dude'. Put o...
London - SEG -way: SAYG-way. Verb: To proceed without interruption; to make a smooth transition
Example: I was having a pint at the 1802 over at Canary Wharf with my mate, Cliff, talking about the EU economy and Italy's plans to raise between 5.5 billion euros and 8 billion euros by selling debt maturing in 2012, 2017 and 2020 and the implication on the Italian automotive industry - imparticula...
WASHINGTON - Taxpayers against Wasteful Government Spending has identified 8500 projects at a cost of $17.7 billion in President Obama's 2009 Omnibus Appropriations Act of $410 billion.
Here are just a few:
~ $1.7 million for The GOB Foundation in Spit, TX
~ $2.6 million for the study of Toe Jam, Boogers and Earwax Research Center in Crappo, MD
~ $1.2 million for The Underarm and Pubi...
Sandefjord, Norway - Continuing an annual tradition the boys and girls from Snotnoserugrat Bameskole sent letters to over 100 world leaders, celebrities and organizations asking what they would like from Julenisse this year. Here are some of the responses.
a wedgie from Lars at Farsi's Muscle World
~ Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
the funny outtakes from "Watching Paint Dry and Grass Grow"
~Prime Min...
Washington--The U.S. Senate has announced the appointment of a sub committee, Government Research Into Nonessential Christmas Habits (GRINCH) to be headed by Senator Jacob Marley. The committee of three wise Senators, plan to visit the Holy land, North Pole and Lapland. Among the organizations and interested parties expected to testify with their concerns, are:
Federal Aviation Administration (...
PUNXSUTAWNEY, PA - This morning Punxsutawney Phil came out of his burrow on Gobbler's Hill saw his shadow,indicating six more weeks of winter weather. This tradition of Candlemas day came from the British Isles to Pennsylvania in 1841 and is still observed throughout the world as the day's other headlines attest.
COLUMBIA, SC - Senator Hillary Clinton in a speech to the Farm Workers of America gave some background to the 35 years of experience that she believes makes her the most qualified to be the next Democratic Presidential nominee; here is part of that speech:...
CONCORD, New Hampshire -- Just days before the January 8th New Hampshire Primary, a focus group of Democrats, Republicans and Independents was gathered at the Winnacunnet High School auditorium.
NASHVILLE, Tennessee - At a press conference today, Al Gore, Jr.made the following statement:...
LANGLEY, Virginia -- A classified recording from the National Security Agency (NSA) has recently surfaced. It was made during the May 2007 visit by Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh to the United States. It has affectionately been dubbed the "The Liz and Phil" tapes.
DES MOINES, Iowa -- Don't ever let it be said that Iowans take their caucusing lightly. Here is a sample of some of the issues and questions the caucusers would like answered by the cocksure Presidential hopefuls.
There are two moments that are guaranteed every year. One, is some politician/celebrity doing or saying something which is completely stupid, asinine, idiotic, mindless or moronic. The other, is New Year's Resolutions by some politician/celebrity which are absurd, ludicrous, inane, ridiculous or foolish.
One day Sam Adams and San Miguel were riding the Sierra Nevada. They were enjoying the beautiful view of rolling rock, sage busch, streams of bass, flying fish and dogfish and off in the distance, brahma, holsten, and even moosehead. (the official beer of Brokeback Mountain)...
Just before Iowa's, January 3rd Caucus and the January 8th New Hampshire Primary, part of an interview transcript between ABC Television's Barbara Walters and Senator Barack Obama has surfaced. Its authenticity can't be verified and neither ABC nor the Obama Presidential campaign is commenting, if or when the interview took place. Anonymous sources in the Clinton camp say the intervi...