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Funny story:  Literary World Stunned By Claims That Thousands Of English Words Have Gone Missing

Literary World Stunned By Claims That Thousands Of English Words Have Gone Missing

The world of literature has been stunned by allegations that massive numbers of words have simply gone missing from the English language. 'In the 1960s we believe there to have been at least one million English words,' said a spokesman for the Queen's English Society. 'Dictionaries that are currently available, however, list just a few hundred. It would appear that words may have been systemati...
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Funny story:  The Sign Of Ophiuchus

The Sign Of Ophiuchus

I had been an astrologer for very many years, diligently generating predictions from the ancient charts for both private clients and national periodicals. For much of that time, however, I had harboured an unspoken suspicion that something was not quite right. It seemed to me that predictions were frequently inaccurate - in fact they were nearly always completely wrong. I had, nevertheless,...
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Funny story:  Shortage Of Suitable Acts Threatens Future Series Of Hit ITV Show, 'Britain's Got Talent'

Shortage Of Suitable Acts Threatens Future Series Of Hit ITV Show, 'Britain's Got Talent'

A letter passed to the press by the Director of the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra has revealed serious concerns within the production team of the hit ITV show, Britain's Got Talent about the viability of future series. 'I was flabbergasted when an application for the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra to audition for Britain's Got Talent was turned down by the show,' revealed the Orchestra's Director.
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Funny story:  The Hunting Act - Eight Years On (An Undercover Report)

The Hunting Act - Eight Years On (An Undercover Report)

The Hunting Act 2004 is a United Kingdom Act of Parliament. Its effect is to outlaw hunting with dogs - particularly for foxes, deer, hares and mink. During the pre-legislation debate it was claimed by the country sports community that the Act would be devastating to rural economies as well as undermining centuries of agrarian cultural tradition. Eight years on, however, it is apparent, even...
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Funny story:  England Prepares For Scottish Independence

England Prepares For Scottish Independence

On Burns Night, 2012, the BBC broadcast to English viewers and listeners, Scotland's First Minister, Alex Salmond, reading poems by Robert Burns. Few will forget the chilling threat that followed this attack. 'Ah will continue tae reid th' poems ay Rabbie Burns at ye sassenachs,' vowed a visibly crazed Mr Salmond, 'until Scootlund achieves independence. Indeed,' he added, with wild eyes bulging...
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Funny story:  Leveson Inquiry Focuses On The Real Cause Of Dishonest, Bullying and Unethical Tabloid Journalism

Leveson Inquiry Focuses On The Real Cause Of Dishonest, Bullying and Unethical Tabloid Journalism

The Leveson Inquiry has, thus far, clearly identified the underlying philosophy and ethos of British tabloid journalism. Central to this ethos has been found to be dishonesty, bullying, political manipulation and a complete disregard for what might be considered as civilised standards of behaviour. 'The Inquiry is now moving on,' confirmed Lord Justice Leveson, this week, 'to examine what h...
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Funny story:  'Grow Your Own' Embraced By Trend-Conscious Middle Classes

'Grow Your Own' Embraced By Trend-Conscious Middle Classes

In recent years, many people have chosen to devote some of their garden space to the growing of food crops. Initially, such amateur production was exclusively directed towards vegetables and fruit. Increasing numbers of hobby gardeners, however, are now experimenting with cereal crops. Since Kate Moss revealed in Hello Magazine that she grew wheat in the garden of her small London home, this...
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Funny story:  English and the Art of Wildebeest Hunting

English and the Art of Wildebeest Hunting

I was recently delighted to be invited to the annual English Language Society Award Ceremony to accept their prestigious Prize for Promotion of the English Language.
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