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Showing articles written by Kent Pete.


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Funny story:  Dear Kent Pete: Am I Gay?

Dear Kent Pete: Am I Gay?

Dear Kent Pete I'm a 33 year old man and am concerned that I might be gay. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate homosexuals. Virtually all of my lovers from the age of 16 have been gay men and if I ever go out it tends to be to gay clubs and bars. I'm a life member of the Pink Punters in Milton Keynes. However I don't want to 'follow the yellow brick road' if infact I am a closet heterosexual.
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Funny story:  Dear Kent Pete: I'm too ugly to have a girlfriend

Dear Kent Pete: I'm too ugly to have a girlfriend

Dear Kent Pete: I really want to feel good about myself and to have a girlfriend but I'm too ugly and too boring. I'm 34 and have never had a partner. I look at my mates and they are definitely more attractive and more confident. You can see from my from the photo that I am not good-looking .I have such a big nose. I ask you to be sensitive and not publish my image, it would be more th...
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Funny story:  Your Horoscope : Pisces

Your Horoscope : Pisces

Help with an ethical matter will be forthcoming this week. Follow a friends advice regarding a moral dilemma that has been troubling you for some time. A surprise source of income could come your way. You have discovered that a distant relative has recently been diagnosed with colon cancer and that the prognosis is poor. She is a spinster and has no close relatives. Even better she owns a four...
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Funny story:  Your Horoscope : Aquarius

Your Horoscope : Aquarius

Maintain a positive attitude and things will naturally flow your way this week. Tell a few jokes [not the one about the baseball bat and the care home assistant], and keep things light and energetic. You will find that you can multi-task very well, and that you have the built-in ability to make everyone around you smile. Don't shy away from things, move toward them. Put away your self-doubt th...
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Funny story:  Your Horoscope : Libra

Your Horoscope : Libra

You certainly are in a strange mood this week, Librans. True, things have been running unusually smoothly for you the past few days, but be careful not to fool yourself. Pride comes before a fall, as they say. With Jupiter's moon's entering Saturn, a Schizophrenic breakdown is a distinct possibilty. However, relax. Recent developments in neuroleptic medications have now reduced the demonic voic...
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Funny story:  Your Horoscope : Scorpio

Your Horoscope : Scorpio

There are days when you will feel truly wonderful this week Scorpio. If you are thinking about changing careers my advice to you is 'Go for it'. With the Moon entering Pluto success is virtually guaranteed. I'd go as far as to tell your present boss to stick his job up his fat arse. Similarly, if you are contemplating leaving your partner and kids for that young dental nurse you have been seei...
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Funny story:  Your Horoscope : Sagittarius

Your Horoscope : Sagittarius

No matter what you are doing today, have fun with it, dear Sagittarius. Whistle a tune or sing a song. Turn the stereo up to full volume and dance around your kitchen as you make dinner. Remember that you can find amusement in just about anything, even terminal illness, so keep this in mind as you tackle even the most revolting of tasks . You are responsible for your own attitude. If you wanna...
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Funny story:  Your Horoscope : Virgo

Your Horoscope : Virgo

First the good news. This week Virgos, you will be offered the trip of a lifetime. A free first class plane ticket and £10,000 cash to travel around the world at your leisure for the next 12 months. The bad news is however you will have to refuse the offer. With global terrorism due to reach it's peak in 2008, it would be total madness to leave your house let alone the country. Sure the Taj Ma...
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Funny story:  Your Horoscope : Aries

Your Horoscope : Aries

The once a year visit of the new moon to your partnership chart makes romance a probability. Put more simply, if you play your cards right it should be 'furry beard time' from now till Good Friday. On a more cautious note if you have a best friend called either Ian or Lisa be careful. The wilful planet Saturn is in their cusp and consequently they are more than likely to contract a serious bact...
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Funny story:  Dear Kent Pete: My husband likes porn

Dear Kent Pete: My husband likes porn

Dear Kent Pete My husband accesses porn sites when I am not in the house. I haven't told him I know about it, as I'm sure he would be angry that I was 'spying' on him. He always deletes the sites he accesses from the history section, but doesn't realise that there are other ways of seeing what he's been downloading. Whenever he gets in before me he usually lies about the time he's got home a...
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Funny story:  Dear Kent Pete: My baby might not be my husband's

Dear Kent Pete: My baby might not be my husband's

Lucy from Dartford writes, I cheated on my husband - only once - but I'm disgusted I could do that to the man I love. I'm 34, he's 35 and we've been together nine years, married for just two. We are very happy, which is what makes it all the worse. I went away for a what was supposed to be a spiritual weekend with work. I found I was pretty good at a lot of the tasks and the teacher singl...
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Funny story:  Your Horoscope: Leo

Your Horoscope: Leo

Your Horoscope with guest Astrologer Pete Doherty.
View 'Your Horoscope: Leo'
Funny story:  Your Horoscope: Gemini

Your Horoscope: Gemini

Your Horoscope with special guest astrologer Burt Bacharach...
View 'Your Horoscope: Gemini'
Funny story:  Your Horoscope: Taurus

Your Horoscope: Taurus

Your horoscope with special guest Astrologer Jimmy Choo...
View 'Your Horoscope: Taurus'
Funny story:  Your Horoscope : Capricorn

Your Horoscope : Capricorn

Horoscope with guest Astrologer Antony Worrall Thompson.
View 'Your Horoscope : Capricorn'
Funny story:  Your Horoscope : Cancer

Your Horoscope : Cancer

Horoscope with guest Astrologer Sir Geoff Hurst...
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Funny story:  Dear Kent Pete: I can't stop cheating on my husband!

Dear Kent Pete: I can't stop cheating on my husband!

Dear Kent Pete. Please help me. I'm 22 years of age, live in Canterbury and have been married for just over two years. I have a one yea...
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Funny story:  Dear Kent Pete: Am I having God's baby?

Dear Kent Pete: Am I having God's baby?

Victoria from Lewisham writes,...
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Funny story:  Why Dancing = Romancing

Why Dancing = Romancing

Good dancers are more likely to sweep women off their feet - and it's not just their funky moves that do the trick. A new study says men who know how to strut their stuff tend to have better body symmetry. It seems that a good rhythmical pelvic thrust is not just an asset on the dance floor!...
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Funny story:  Scottish ex-prostitutes find home

Scottish ex-prostitutes find home

Go to the centre of Edinburgh after dark and you can see the women start to colonise the district. The grey suits that are everywhere during daylight hours give way to multi-coloured miniskirts as the time arrives for a different kind of product to be traded.
View 'Scottish ex-prostitutes find home'
Funny story:  "I'm genuinely a right Shit House " claims Jeremy Kyle.

"I'm genuinely a right Shit House " claims Jeremy Kyle.

In a statement that is bound to prematurely end the career of nonce Jeremy Kyle, the odious television presenter claimed yesterday:...
View '"I'm genuinely a right Shit House " claims Jeremy Kyle.'
Funny story:  "You will learn to love me" Grant tells Chelsea fans.

"You will learn to love me" Grant tells Chelsea fans.

Avram Grant, seen here wearing a hat, last night pledged to bring a smile back to Stamford Bridge as he promised the moody Blues fans: " You will learn to love me ".
View '"You will learn to love me" Grant tells Chelsea fans.'

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