HOLLYWOOD (Calf.) -- Last night I was on my way to interview Angelina Jolie and was passing the new sheik Pink Taco eatery when I spotted Andy Dick, in what appeared to be a latex condom costume. I was about to shout Dick a question when he gave the six-or-so paparazzi the finger and galloped into the eatery.
BEVERLY HILLS (Wilshire) *EXCLUSIVE* -- I've had to come out, to expose this news to you. I'm a Beverly Hills cop. That's right, I drive a squad car. No, I didn't pick up Paris Hilton, I was out at Big Muddy Donuts. Pity I can't pick up Megan Fox, with the future trouble she's going to cause me.
HOLLYWOOD (Glendale) -- No, it's not the aliens, but the Sheriff's Department itself that has launched an Internal Probe into Paris Hilton. Will it hurt? Who knows. The aliens usually return you unharmed, if with a little loss of dignity. I know that's what they did to me.
MALIBU (Calf.) -- Today. For God's sake Paris, put on a L.A. street wear micro mini before we all go Buzz, ding-dong -- Hello. You look like my 5th grade primary school teacher. Pull yourself together girl.
HOLLYWOOD (PARIS HILTON's TRASH CAN) -- Paris Hilton's crumpled shopping list is for sale on eBay. Item Number: 110145031520. Have not bid. Must phone my Editor. Starting bid: US $45.00. Postage: US $9.00 Redwood framed.
MSNBC - Morning Joe (On Air) - A sour looking Mika Brzezinski started her newscast by saying she had an apology, regarding the lead story. "I didn't choose it" she said, and went on, "No, I hate this story and I don't think it should be released.." Her co-anchor then jumped in to say she should make her own story.
Nicky Hilton and trillionaire boyfriend were whooping it up in olive land this week, while big sis Paris was still in the slammer.
Paris Hilton bounded on the small stage and flopped in a swivel chair in front of a 'stunned to hush-ness' audience; and an even more stunned Rodney King.
I never knew the old London, without it's giant ferris wheel, but I imagine it was lovely. But I wanted to tell you why I was here on assignment for TheSpoof.com, and that was to see my old friend Harry Potter.
A Paris Hilton "devotee", Kieth Richards, dressed as Johnny Depp, playing Captain Jack Sparrow is demanding the heiress' release from prison in the next three days, or else he will "raid, plunder and pillage the entire village of Lynwood."...
Sally Kirkland, (63) American actress, nominated for the Academy Award for Best Actress in 1987 for Anna, has led a 'Free Paris' protest with six supporters outside of Lynwood jail. As a minister in the Church of The Movement of Spiritual Inner Awareness she also prayed for Nicole Richie.
Not only that, but a tiny photo of three grinning men -- less that 1 mm in size -- is one of several images incorporated into the hologram's design intended to make it harder to replicate a Vista DVD, according to Nick White on Microsoft's Vista team blog.
"Hey guys, so this weekend I jetted off to beautiful Portofino, Italy for My Dad's Big Fat Rocker Wedding. (Rod, you Dog, YOU.) We've been going there for years, so the place is filled with great memories.
Swarmi Intelligence (SI) indicates a recent computational and behavioral metaphor for solving distributed problems that originally took its inspiration from the biological examples provided by social insects (ants, termites, bees, wasps) and by swarming, flocking, herding behaviors in vertebrates.
Paris tells her mother that this is how she is spending her time at the moment:...
Streets of Sunset (Some guy) - "I took 1500 shots of myself last night.." laments paparazzo Hunter S. Flash. "But I just couldn't get myself to drop my pants, bend over and shoot, and send it to Women's Day as Johnny Depp's ass. He's not that hairy."...
Some misguided broken nose fans of Sinatra thought he wanted to be in "From Here to Eternity", so they put a horses head in then head of Columbia Pictures, Harry Cohen's bed. Nicole Richie spent many a time at MJ's 'Neverland Ranch', sleeping in his room, (she claims) in her own bed.
Exclusive :: Dateline :: Hollywoodland (The Good Part)...
In breaking news this intrepid reporter has just witnessed that Dow Jones Bancroft has jumped from the top of The Wall Street Journal building, and taken the whole family with him. What a tragedy! The New York Stock Exchange will collapse and take the world with it.
Paris has requested that you forward the following to her with all your love.. _Gai Gai Karraokee PHPA...