This year, 2012, is the Queen's Diamond Jubilee year. We asked famous bonkers celebrity chef Heston Blooming-Tal to come up with a recipe to celebrate her Queening anniversary, just like whoever it was who came up with Coronation Chicken in 1952.
First Heston considered swan, but the legal department made it clear that there would be complications. Then he thought about lion, and again had to b...
There was an international outpouring of sympathy at the weekend for the death of Whitney Houston. But another less celebrated musician died on the same day, whose passing has barely been mentioned in the newspapers.
Johnny "John" Johnson had a musical career spanning five decades. A few weeks ago, TheSpoof were lucky enough to interview him for the last time, barring a now-unlikely comeback. T...
You have 1 new friend request from Barry.
You have 1 new message from Barry, sent 1 Feb 18:35.
hello mate its me barry. remember we was at school together. remember that one time we flushed your trousers down the toilet that was facking hilarious.
then that other time you and biffer got into a fight and he beat the crap out of you. good times
anyways im in town and i need somewhere to crash...
Have you ever watched Prime Minister's Questions and thought "I'd love to do that"?
Well now you can, with the official Prime Minister's Questions board game.
It is a game for three players. One player takes the part of the Leader of the Opposition, one plays the Prime Minister and the third player is the Speaker of the House.
The game is simple. The Leader of the Opposition thinks up a...
What will the world be like in 2012? Now we have an idea, but in the past people could only wonder. In 1912, a group of leading scientists wrote a book about their predictions for the world 100 years into the future. Their conjectures cover everyday life, global politics, society and new inventions that may exist. The book, entitled "The World in 2012", was lost long ago but has recently been redi...
The name Sir Dr Wilbert Vagina-Crumpington is little heard these days, and that is a great shame, for he was one of the greatest explorers of pre-Victorian Britain. He discovered the bottom of the Nile, and he invented Madagascar.
He is responsible for recording for the first time countless tribes around the world, most of which he named after himself. He is also responsible for discovering an...
A Europe-wide TV channel is to be launched next week, featuring the very best in European interest programming. The channel, to be called EURO-TV, will do its best to avoid the problems encountered by similar now-defunct channels.
Those problems were largely caused by the multilingual nature of Europe. EURO-TV will try to avoid these by not broadcasting any speech. Entertainment will be provid...
Their eyes met across the busy dancefloor. Unlikely though it was, both of their glass eyes had fallen out at the same time, rolled across the ground - avoiding dozens of dancing feet - and bumped into each other.
Theobald and Griselda approached each other, put their eyes back in and began an awkward conversation. He didn't normally enjoy yakking. He had caught a large one the previous year bu...
Many a curious Earthling has gazed up at the Moon at night and pondered, "just how did the American government manage to fake those landings on the Moon?". As a recent book by "astronaut" Buzz Aldrin reveals, there were considerable obstacles to overcome. But for those of you of a weak disposition, prepare to be shocked. This conspiracy is even bigger than you could have imagined.
"The main pro...
The world's interconnected telegraph network, also known as the intertelnet, has been running for a little over forty years now, sending Morse code messages around the civilised world. It was in 1832 that the first electrical telegrammatic message was sent from Dorking to Effingham by Lady Spongebob Telegraph, wife of the inventor Lord Jethro Telegraph. Famously, the message was a whimsical descri...
A new film is in the cinemas which aims to shed light on a little known chapter of Britain's military history. Entitled "War Hamster", it tells the story of a young man called Albert Furbottom who takes his pet hamster with him to fight in the First World War.
Albert is only aged 15 at the outbreak of the war, but after seeing all his elder brothers sign up, he follows them to the recruitment o...
There are few Christmas traditions more familiar and charming than hanging up a stocking for Father Christmas, leaving him a mince pie and a carrot for his reindeer. But things are done a bit differently in Scotland.
There it is customary to leave out a drop of whisky and a few cans of Stella. The Scottish Santa needs fuel to keep him going through the long, dark and blurry Scottish night.
H...
It's Christmas, and despite the economic crisis, Britons are pulling together and doing what they do best - sitting on their fat arses (the biggest in Europe) and watching TV.
So what programmes are the most popular during this festive period? We did a survey to find out.
The most watched TV show was "When Sharks Attack at Christmas", a graphic documentary about the dangers of swimming near...
Dear Santa,
I would like a manufacturing sector for Christmas. We seem to have lost our old one.
Thank you,
David (Cameron)
Herr Claus,
I am not sure what to ask for this year - something to stop those South Europeans from badgering us for more money would be useful. Perhaps a Swiss bank account, or a big stick.
Auf Weidersehen,
Angela
Monsieur Noel,
For Christm...
At Christmas time, ones thoughts often turn to Britain's second family, the Windsors. There are many connections between the Royal Family and Christmas - the Queen's speech; the fact that we lick the back of her head dozens of times in the weeks running up to Christmas; or that Jesus also had two birthdays.
New member of the Royals, Kate Middleton, will be celebrating her first Christmas at Buc...
These days, the media is full of depressing but thrilling news about the financial crisis. It is regularly implied that we are all doomed, that banks will fail, governments will fall, and nothing will work in the future. But somehow the world continues turning. It's enough to make one hit oneself over the head with a brick and yell, "What does it mean? What does it all mean???"
So here, in the...
"Tally-ho!" yelled Flashman as he wrestled the evil Bosch Merkel. Her muscular arms attempted to hold him in a headlock but his chin was able to wriggle free.
"Take that!" he squeaked, punching her in the stomach and ducking out through the side-door, treaty in hand.
He faced his nemesis, the midget Sarkozy. "Oh god, not you!" he said snottily. Sarkozy took off his metal-brimmed hat and tri...
In 1987, the global economy lay in ruins. Britain was under attack from all sides, evil foes attempted to buy out our companies and money was in short supply. It was a perilous age.
Thankfully, Thatcher's heroes were ready. These few brave men stood in the way of total economic collapse, and saved Britain from certain bankruptcy and German ownership. These unsaluted heroes are the investment ba...
It's that time of the year again, where Daily Mail journalists build up a froth of anger over the absurdities of the latest winners of the Turner Prize. "It's not art!" they scream red-faced, as they futilely attempt to define what art actually is.
Regardless of whether you consider it art or not, one thing is beyond doubt. Every piece ever entered into that competition is utterly shit. But why...
A new scripture, the gospel of Bob, has been found in the deserts of Israel. It describes intimate details about the love life of Mary, mother of Jesus, and is sure to rock the foundations of the Christian world.
In the gospel, which is written in the form of a sitcom, it describes Mary meeting her parents and telling her them of her pregnancy. It says:
Mary: Hi, Mum, I have something to tel...
Guten tag, darts fans, it's your friendly Chancellor Angela Merkel here. Grab yourself a beer and turn up the oompah band, and let's enjoy that very German game, darts.
Since the demilitarisation of Deutschland in 1945, Germans have not been allowed to fire weapons, blow things up, or act in the slightest way improperly, without being severely punished. So it is that every German loves to go do...
As the European single currency threatens to collapse amid a cacophony of guilty fingering, the UK remains under no immediate danger of default. Why should this be? With a foreign debt of over 6 trillion pounds - second only to the US - there is a surprising amount of confidence in island Britain's ability to remain afloat.
This isn't just a simple example of maintaining a stiff upper lip in th...