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Showing articles written by Ace Ventura.


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Funny story:  The Dark Knight

The Dark Knight

Vigalante? Hero? When I ventured out into the streets of Gotham my new area after being transferred from the Daily Assholes to the Gotham Bugle. (Hotter Chickitas) I got varied answers.
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Funny story:  Harry Potter related to Emily Rose

Harry Potter related to Emily Rose

Some critics...well mostly me...ok only me say that there are certain relations between HPOOTP (Ootp that is so funny I shit myself everytime I hear that...oh crap well that's what's in my pants right now) between Harry Potter Five and the Exorcism of Emily Rose the scene in Harry Potter Five where Harry Potter (Pothead) is possed by he who smells (Barry Trotter Series by Michael Gerber) a...
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Funny story:  Grand Theft Auto San Andreas Stories

Grand Theft Auto San Andreas Stories

The popular game series from Rockstar, GTA as he players refer to it has become hugely succesful from GTA1 to GTA Vice City Stories. As many know the GTA games are based on real places Vice City/Miami, San Andreas/San Francisco/Hollywood/Las Vegas, Liberty City/New York and much more but what one gamer James "Angst" Focknut Murphy shouted as he threw his Playstation 2 out the window alon...
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Funny story:  Spiderman 3 Let Down

Spiderman 3 Let Down

People who came out of Cinema 5 in Hitler Memorial Mall America Kansas City were angry, sad and dissapointed at the highly overrated Spiderman 3.
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Funny story:  New Drug for Kids

New Drug for Kids

Everyone has heard of the drugs for kids who are dumb, stupid and can't focus. But what about those kids who over-acheive? Nerds? Geeks? Chess Club? What about them?!...
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Funny story:  JK Rowling GOOD! Harry Potter BAD!

JK Rowling GOOD! Harry Potter BAD!

This reporter was wrong about JK Rowling (I WANT MISCHA BARTON BACK BITCH!) JK is a kind sweet generous person who would have loved to save Harry Potter from his tragic death but incriminating (FAKE) eveidence shows Harry Potter beating babies and stealing candy whilst JK frolocks through a meadow giving banana cake to children.
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Funny story:  Harry Potter and the Death Hole

Harry Potter and the Death Hole

J.K. Rowling author of the unusually popular Harry Potter series held a press conference in London to talk about the plot of Harry Potter and the Death Hole. The story centres around Harry Fucker-...Potter? are you sure? it says Fucker on my sheet...BILLY! IT'S NOT FUNNY I WILL KICK YOUR WHITE ASS! Harry POTTER and his friends Hermione Grazer-...Granger? no way but...BILLLY! Hermione GRANGER a...
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Funny story:  The JLA MOVIE CANCELLED!

The JLA MOVIE CANCELLED!

A few weeks ago I said that a JLA movie was coming out with a few hot actresses (not Paris Hilton!). It was cancelled by the worried mothers because the movie was rated G.
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Funny story:  JLA Movie Announced

JLA Movie Announced

Yes people I your beloved Ace Ventura is back and ready to ride that spankable ass!...
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Funny story:  The Real Life Earl Hickey

The Real Life Earl Hickey

Most of you I'm sure watch the TV series "My Name is Earl". This televised program jerked a man named Bruno Giggles into action he has 956 items on his list the twenty three year old estimates with the amount he has it will take him more than three years to complete it.
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Funny story:  The Golden Toad Awards

The Golden Toad Awards

Yes Reader's its that time again Toad Fever I, Ace Ventura went to the Hilwhore Hotel in L.A where I, Ace Ventura met up with celebreties from all over the world My first interview not suprisingly is with the overrated over televised Brad Armpitt...
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Funny story:  Cracker's sue Pothead

Cracker's sue Pothead

After some major cover up breaking I discovered what really happened in the World Court House last week famous spoof character Harry Pothead was being sued by a family of stoner's for selling them bad crack now normally all of them would have been arrested had it not been that Pothead was a fictional character and teh Cracker family was the Clinton's Didn't anybody wonder why Bill Clin...
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Funny story:  Will the Spears Saga end?

Will the Spears Saga end?

Welcome Readers I, Ace Ventura JR am reporting on the birth of Britney Spears' twentythird baby this one was named Oragon their collection of babies named after United States locations grow ever larger proud father Kevin Federlinesays he is considering giving up rap to go back to Pizza Hut the couple now weigh individually...
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Sherlock Actor Investigates Cast

Benedict Cumberbatch drilled the Star Trek cast and successfully deduced that his stolen peanut butter and jelly sandwich was taken by Zachary Quinto.

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