Rumor has it that just before United States Vice President Joe Biden speaks the Obama Administration holds their collective breath. But on a recent diplomatic visit to the Ukraine it seems that Biden made a big hit. In a Disassociated Press photo Biden was shown reaching out affectionately to blonde beauty Prime Minister Yulia Tymoshenko. The PM seemed to be having the time of her life as Biden wa...
> Dear Pointer,
>
> Please allow me to apologize for my conduct when we last met. I consider you to be one of my very closest friends and am embarrassed about my off the wall behavior. Perhaps the combination of Irish, Croatian and English genes and some very good wine got the best of me. Or maybe I was just being stupid.
>
> In any event, I ask you all to forgive me. I love...
The sainted Roman Catholic celebrity who brought almost as much press to the Vatican as their legions of pedophiles, Padre Oprah, has joined the Episcopal Anglican church so that he can shtoop his ecclesiastical mistress and still be able to preach the usual sel righteous bullshit.
PO has composed a modren litany of Celebrity saints to reinforce his relvance and continue the sexsual titilatio...
Good Morning, Graduates and the many friends, relatives and paid participants who would much rather be somewhere else. Hic! Excuse my Latin.Let's speak some truth as Cicero said to Cataline... I'm not the only hung over mofo in the stadium today so let's have a rousing round of applause for every dehydrated aching big head out there!
Graduation... it is no accident that it sounds like somethi...
Today is Wednesday, March 25, the 84th day of 2009. There are 281 days left in the year.
Today's Highlight in History:
On March 25, 1965, the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. led 25,000 marchers to the state capitol in Montgomery, Ala., to protest the denial of voting rights to blacks.20,ooo voted to get their black asses out of the backward south and move among the northern racist whites.
On...
Who says American ingenuity is dead? A Utah Youth Equipment Big Love Idea Man was strolling in the Park City park one day when he spied a local dog walking service with the handy leash that accommodates multiple fidos, rovers and josiah smiths.
Thinking that this is best new idea since polygamy and sliced bread, the inventor raced home to develop... you guessed it:
The Big Love Mormon Mul...
Orphaned ay four, ravaged by every disease known to man before puberty, Gabriel decided that he would dedicate his life to the god who had been so good to him. The jesuits ask him if he was out of his mind and sent him to the Passionists, a religious order that was famous for accepting candidates who were out of their minds.
Gabriel of Our Lady of sorrows quickly rose throught he ranks of the...
Saint Sebastian Luis Aparicio has the distinction of being the only saint to have been an all star shortstop in the Major Leagues. Luis as he was known in many years playing for the Chicago White Sox was famous for his cluthch hitting, his on base percentage, his golden glove and his incredible ability to steal bases.
In fact it was Aparicio's base thievery that almost prevented his canonizat...
St Luca Beludi, patron saint of the homosexual sidekick, fell scapular over sandals in love with the handsome,charismatic and eloquent Anthony of Padua. Presciently, the patron saint of the lost and lost objects helped gay Luca Beludi find his true love.
Luca followed the Billy Graham of his day over hill and over dale. The cuddlesome couple traveled as many miles as the famous American cross...
In recognition of the fact that the One Holy Apostolic Catholic Church has provided almost as much comedy to spoof writers as the royal family and the Bush family, one of its newest latest excitingest features will be the catholic calendar of the saints.
Each day if we are sober enough after our daily draught of altar wine we will try and provide a saint of the day inspirational reflection. So...
So as two pretty penniless med students in love but years away from any semblance of financial security with loans way up both our asses, we decided to take up my future mother in law's invitation to live as one of the boarders in her Boston rooming house so we could save enough money for a place of our own. Vanessa, my girlfriend's Chinese mother is the kind of person who delivers Reiki massages...
Dear AssFF44G, As a child educated in the catholic schools of NY and later a Catholic school teacher for 30 years, I am confused and frankly troubled by the Brooklyn diocese's plan to convert needy RC schools into secular charters. Has our religious identity come to mean nothing? Cannot the Roman Catholic community support the Church's mission to provide the next generation with a truly spiritual...
Dear P4YG,
My dear Amigo, Jose'CanUC has this microbiologist wife who is telling him that she has to go to Mexico to deliver a talk on the subject of mine tailings. Jose' is like un hermano to me and I don't know how to tell him that I think su esposa may be stepping out into a minefield of Mexican man tail...Ayudanos!
Querido A!, Ay Yay Ya Yay...
I can understand why you are not sing...
After an insane nightmare the new US President awoke to find that his greatest fear was only a dream.
Barack Obama on his first night sleeping in the White House dreamt that Bristol Palin's high school dropout consort had impregnated both of his precious daughters.
In the bad dream he organized a black posse and lynched the white redneck from the tallest oak tree in Washington, DC.
U...
Republican strategist Moe Monet Dangod has been credited with delivering this highly persuasive speech to insure the election of African American Michael Steele to the RNC chairmanship:
"My fellow rich white people, religious fanatics and homohaters, The nation has spoken and it has said that Black is beautiful. Though I have never been mistaken as a Kool menthol smokin dude, that is clearly...
Dear A$$FF44giveness,
As a loyal supporter and lifelong admirer of your very catholic leadership, I must humbly ask how it is possible that you defended illegal recruiting practices and had the unmitigated gall to appeal the AIAA decision that your school's recruiting policies were in violation of league rules?
Your athletic supporter.
Dear Jock,
It is true that I traveled to Ph...
The conservative satiric disability not withstanding, Kathleening Right Parker was caught really stretching in her position as reactionary first basegirl for the Washington Post group.
Sure it's got to be hard to be the token free mouseketeer for a bunch of pinkos like the Post. I certainly can feel the pain of a scribbler who attacked Bush during the final right wing feeding frenzy and then i...
Dear AssFF44giveness,
I am a 90 year old Mexican Catholic who was watching the Pope on a video screen when he broadcast his message from the Vatican since he feared that the altitude in Mexico City was harmful to the health of an older man. He praised the traditional family but never elaborated as to what that means.
I grew up in a very traditional Mexican family where my father beat...
Is having a hat on conserving body heat? Most hat wearing people surveyed said yes. But the scientists who studied the matter insist that the release of methane from the anus is a much more predominant loss of heat. forget the stocking cap and the fedora and cut out the frijoles or stick in some anal beads.
Sugar sure got to be the reason for the riled up child...No, declare scientists who h...
Illini Guv Rod B has presented a very effective defense on his own behalf:
"I'm fulla shit!! So I blather on and on about this half assed scheme and that dopey deal...Since when is alot of mullarkey a misdemeanor or a truckful of fantasies a felony! Yeah, I wanted to auction off Obama's seat, cuddle up to Michele's derriere and marry Tony Resko's six hot daughters. And then I planned on resc...
Caroline Kennedy whose pony once pooped all over the White House lawn told reporters that her run for the NY Senatorial seat once held by her Uncle, Robert Kennedy has been inspired by an apparition:
"Uncle Booby appeared to me on the parapets of the Hyannis Port Mansion late one December night. The rest of the clan were already indoors heavily involved in Uncle Teddy's favorite hobby. They w...
Dear AssFF$$G, I was reading L'Osservatore Romano late one night after my porn subscription ran out( any advice?) and I noticed that the Vatican's official organ has a feature called : The Most Beautiful Pictures of the Pope. I fuck with thee not!
Do you know what criteria is used to decide the papal beautifulness?
Just Wondering
Dear JW,
As to your first somewhat subtle query( I...