Well, it's summertime and and once again Washington watchers are gearing up for that age old pastime: that's right folks...it's Impeachment Season. The warm and balmy months in our nations capitol are traditionally a time for frolicking poolside and attempting to bring down our nations leaders.
It will be remembered by the half dozen Americans who actually pay attention to what...
In 1993 my wife and I moved to the Catskill Mountains. We soon realized that there in the hills antenna based TV reception was impossible. We had just spent all our money on the down payment for our property, so we were too cash strapped to buy one of those huge satellite dishes that were so popular back then. We were also too far in the then wilderness to have any cable lines on our road ( actual...
The US Army is getting ready to release it’s latest video training game. If I remember correctly, the working name of the game is “ Killing Arabs for Oil” or something like that. I’ve always thought that military video games were a great idea.. I mean, if war isn’t fun, what fun is it? The game is a semi-realistic depiction of Special Forces operations in an unnamed Arab country (Iraq) and allows...
You don’t hear much about the Gay Nineties anymore, and by the Gay Nineties I don’t mean the 1990’s in New York City’s West Village, I mean of course the 1890’s, which was a whole other thing altogether. And this is probably the crux of the problem right there. The term gay has changed somewhat since 1890. And that’s not a bad thing, mind you; English is a fluid language and words change their me...
As the title might suggest to the more intellectually proficient among you, I have a tooth ache, so don’t expect me to be funny, charming, erudite or even mildly polite. My tooth hurts and when your tooth hurts you are absolved from all pretense of the social graces. It’s not like, say a bullet in the shoulder on the battlefield, where you can grit your teeth and mutter, “It’s ok, I’ll live; now l...
One evening not long ago my wife and I found ourselves bound for our local shopping mall. She had to buy stuff, you see. Now, don’t get me wrong. Neither my wife nor I are really shoppers, so I don’t want to imply that she was out there just mindlessly spending money, especially since she’ll probably read this and if I make her look bad I’ll catch it hot big time. By the way, have I told you how b...
I shouldn’t have put my name on the National Do Not Call Registry. This morning, just as I was relaxing with my sixteenth cup of coffee, there was a knock at the door. I opened it up and there was a guy standing before me with two telephone receivers in his hand.
“Can I help you?” I ask, a little taken aback. The fellow held up a finger, the first one, so don’t worry, and handed me one o...
If you can get ahead
when all about you are losing...
I was sitting at my computer, happily tapping away, writing another little dream sequence about our illustrious leaders when my wife walked by and started reading over my shoulder.
“ You know, you should be careful about what you’re writing. You’re probably on some FBI watch list by now.”...
I was looking for something to write for an uplifting Christmas story, and my mind flashed back to New York City, eighteen years ago.
At the time, I owned a nightclub in Grammercy Park, just north of Fourteenth St, called Irving Plaza. I don’t remember who the Christmas Eve act the night before was, although I know it was a sold out show. I know this because at about four in the morning as...
I was lying on the couch on a beautiful Sunday afternoon, doing a little light reading, Gulag Archipelago I think, but it hardly matters. What matters is that my wife comes in, tosses the car keys on my chest and says, “We’re going to the store.”
Now, this can be a pretty good thing. My wife gardens, so going to the store could easily imply a trip to someplace with tools, like Home Depot. T...
I’ve been thinking about Asians. Well, more than Asians, I’ve been thinking about everybody and the way I react to them. My problem is I don’t know if I’m a biased person. I probably am; we probably all are in some way, shape or form, but my point is do the biases I have make me a bad person?
Webster’s Unabridged Dictionary tells me that Bias means ‘a mental leaning or inclination; preposse...
As you may remember, a short time ago President Bush called me, thinking I was Colin Powell after apparently misdialing a phone number. I figured that was the end of it, but thank god for technology. This morning I was scrolling back through my phones call history and found a 202 area code on my incoming calls. On a whim, I hit redial.
"Good morning there, this is George W. Bush, the...
Another morning, another unwelcome phone call. I just wanted to read the morning paper but my cell phone keeps vibrating in my pocket, normally a pleasant sensation, but right now it’s just too early. Still half asleep I reached for the phone, knocking my coffee over. Cursing, I answered, “ What?!”
“Chuck? It’s Karl Rove.”, the voice on the other side answered. Great, I would rather it was...
It was early in the morning, much too early for telemarketers or bill collectors, you know decent people, when the phone rang.
“ Hello, Colin? It’s me, President Georgie Bush. How’re ya all doin today?”...
So I was there outside the Cineplex on line for tickets to see the last installment of The Lord Of The Rings- The Return of the King. Sitting huddled against the side of the theatre was a homeless guy, all dirty and stinking of cheap gin. He was dressed in tattered but garishly colorful clothing; bright yellow boots that had seen better days and a torn blue jacket, all stained and worn. He had a...