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Funny story:  Vondrook's Dating Survival Tips!

Vondrook's Dating Survival Tips!

To help you navigate through the murky black sludge that is the single dating life, here are some tips for the Vondrook reader on how to achieve the highest rate of success when going on a first date. And by "success," I meaning making out or getting laid. •If your date says she likes a "take charge" type of guy, try to get the waiter or somebody to hear that as well, because that's consent, br...
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Funny story:  Balance to the Force - A Star Wars Tale

Balance to the Force - A Star Wars Tale

Many people, fans of the original Star Wars trilogy, lambast the prequels of Star Wars movies as trash and not deserving a space next to such giants in film. They criticize the poorly thought out characters, the abundance of origin stories, an unlikable main character who eventually becomes the villain without too much disappointment, Jar Jar Binks, the stupidity of many characters, that Gungan wh...
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Funny story:  Pokémon: The Terrible Terrifying Truth

Pokémon: The Terrible Terrifying Truth

Another brutal day at work. Another round of layoffs hit your firm so you grudgingly accept Fate's cruel hand and settle into the humdrum monotony of missed deadlines, angry emails, and screaming bosses. You finally arrive at your sanctuary: home, a bastion of refuge against the assaulting waves of crap called life. As you kick off your shoes, the glow of a portable screen plastered to the face of...
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Funny story:  Scamatology Leader's Missing Wife Shows Up and Beats the Living Xenu Out of Him

Scamatology Leader's Missing Wife Shows Up and Beats the Living Xenu Out of Him

The leader of Scamatology, diminutive Davy Makemerich, has been dodging questions for years about his missing wife, Smelly. At the same time that this drama has been going on, Wee Davy has been collecting money from Scamatologists for the Super Power building, which he says will give worthy cult members various super-powers--including the ability to find parking places INSTANTLY. When Davy open...
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Funny story:  James Anderson's conversation with Ravindra Jadeja leaked

James Anderson's conversation with Ravindra Jadeja leaked

Much has been spoken about the ugly spat between James Anderson and Ravindra Jadeja during the 1st Test match at Trent Bridge. Apparently, Jadeja's bat had a secret mic, that recorded the entire conversation. Wondering how the bat had a mic? Well, it belongs to Sir Ravindra Jadeja. Not just a mic, it may also have weapons for all we know. Here's what really happened (and by really happened, we...
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Funny story:  Interview with MI5 Mole

Interview with MI5 Mole

It came as something of a surprise when there was a knock at the door of my office at Spoof HQ and a gentleman introduced himself as a mole from MI5. I asked him how he had found his way to our HQ and he told me he went to Platform 8 and a half at Kings Cross and found there was no rowling stock but was advised to go to Platform S where he found a train to our place. I had my doubts that thi...
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Funny story:  Guide To Enjoying Your Hen Night In Borth, Aberystwith

Guide To Enjoying Your Hen Night In Borth, Aberystwith

Remember to respectfully treat other tourists who may have just come to Borth to quietly enjoy tranquil views of the famous peat bog and see the site of the well publicised recent bog fires. Here are some dares to get the ball rolling: 1) REMOVE YOUR BRA WITHOUT TAKING YOUR TOP OFF 2) SING SANDRA DEE FROM GREASE 3) DRINK YOUR DRINK WITHOUT STOPPING 4) KISS EVERYONE IN THE GROUP 5) DAN...
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Funny story:  Don't be so repetitive chief, sorry, Mr. Editor-in-Chief

Don't be so repetitive chief, sorry, Mr. Editor-in-Chief

A book by Thaler and Sunstein titled "Nudge" proposed the following solution to the problem of sending angry e-mails, which are often followed by regret: software that cautions you against sending it by saying "warning: this appears to be an uncivil email. do you really and truly want to send it?" A stronger version of this software might also require a user to enter a password to send the seeming...
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Funny story:  Ode to Birth Control by J.S. Shaw

Ode to Birth Control by J.S. Shaw

It's obvious my uterus has seen a better day. Too many years invested, in erotic sexual play. Committed now to aging with grace its duty done. A child carries on my name - a generation comes. My sex life is a private matter, I care not to discuss. Why Politicians think they speak ... for my uterus. Men are lusty school boys - ask any Catholic wife. If it wasn't for contraception, we'd be...
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Funny story:  Fabrication; The American Way

Fabrication; The American Way

Did you know that America is on the wrong path? Republicans and Democrats force-feed agendas with one-sided talking points and mean-spirited drivel. Politicians today can't seem to walk past a live camera without delivering an absurd fabrication meant to injure the other Party. Hillary Clinton wore goggles at Wellesley, and purchased a shoe collection from Imelda Marcos on Ebay. Did you know Je...
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Funny story:  O.A.Pimps

O.A.Pimps

Ever since the dawn of time people/old people, have enjoyed/felt equally ashamed of, having intercourse. In a society were sex sells and tits are bitcoins, the new look is to have those double D moneybags swinging by your knees. In an exclusive undercover report, we managed to have a sit down with the head of 'Golden Wheelchair Escorting' and ask...why? The 'Golden Wheelchair Escorting' company...
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Funny story:  The Hope and Dreams of Kim Jong Un--Part II

The Hope and Dreams of Kim Jong Un--Part II

Pyongyang, North Korea Rotund leader of North Korea Kim Jong Un, after completing his tap dance lesson, went to continue his in-depth interview with Dennis Rodman as his interpreter. "I wanted to clear up another misconception about me. I hardly play video games anymore except for Grand Theft Auto. I wish the media would stop portraying me as a spoiled brat who always gets his own way or I'm g...
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Funny story:  ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi makes shocking confession in rogue Mosul nightclub The Burqa al-Ablah

ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi makes shocking confession in rogue Mosul nightclub The Burqa al-Ablah

No sooner was I back in Baghdad from the journey to Mosul with Hillary than I got this strange call on my cell. I was at my favorite cheap digs, the Hotel Alzubra, ready to move back towards Syria, but it was Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi saying I should return north to Mosul. "If this is Warezabar," the voice said, "I have something. Urgent." "This is Pepe Warezabar." "Yes?" His English is...
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Funny story:  Cause and Effect - Unexpected but Certain

Cause and Effect - Unexpected but Certain

Every cause has an effect. And every effect has a cause. This is the universal law of cause and effect. It never fails. When a particular cause does not produce the expected effect the fault is in the expectation. There is still an effect. It's just that the effect is other than what is expected -- unexpected, but certain, nevertheless. To put it in plain language, something happens and somethi...
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Funny story:  You can get Placebo Orgasm

You can get Placebo Orgasm

This is based on pure science, so put your skepticism aside for a moment while I try and explain how it works. The initial study was conducted on placebo sleep. Once it was found to work, experts such as myself attempted to apply the method to other areas. Sex, and orgasm specifically, was deemed most problematical, causing serious lack in gratification. So we conducted a study on the writer of...
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Funny story:  Blame it on the size of the plate - but don't try this at home

Blame it on the size of the plate - but don't try this at home

Well, I'm happy to say that drinking is under control in our household. When I say it's under control, I mean we drink under controlled conditions. And that control, as those of you who've read my previous article know, is the size of the drinking receptacle. I provide the link at the end of this article for those who missed the previous one so that you can also get your drinking under control. An...
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Funny story:  Celebrities choose their World Cup XIs

Celebrities choose their World Cup XIs

Because it's the World Cup Final this weekend, we asked a number of celebrities to tell us who their top World Cup XI would be if they could choose anyone or anything to be on the team. We then imagined what would happen if they actually played each other. Reverend Timothy Pulpit selected a diverse group of objects. In the midfield he had church and gay marriage; on the left wing, Jesus, and on...
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Funny story:  Weird Survey

Weird Survey

In a weird survey conducted by Harvard's Neuroscience Department some interesting findings are being discussed. College and University students were asked to list in descending order WHO THEY WOULD LEAST WANT TO BE AS THEY BREATHED THEIR LAST. The most recurring choices were... 1. Henry Kissinger. 2. Barack Obama 3. George Bush Senior. 4. George Bush Junior. 5. Donald Rumsfeld. 6. Tony Bla...
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Funny story:  History repeats itself

History repeats itself

The Battle of Qadisayeh marks the end of the Persian Empire, fought in 636 A.D. It was a decisive battle between ISIS, oops, Arab Muslim invaders and the Sassanid Persian army at Qadisayeh, presently a 2-hour drive to Baghdad. Who to blame: George Bush, Obama or King Khosrau II? In fact, King Khosrau II, technically the last King of Sassanid Empire, was murdered along with 18 eligible male heir...
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Funny story:  Hillary Clinton at Club Ali Baba and His Forty Daughters for meeting with ISIS in Iraq

Hillary Clinton at Club Ali Baba and His Forty Daughters for meeting with ISIS in Iraq

Pepe Warezabar here, just returned to Baghdad, and speaking into my laptop after rendezvous in Mosul with Hillary and the leader of ISIS. On the way there, yes, it was the orange Honda with plenty of dust, thank the bejeezus, me with pedal to the metal and Hillary in black burqa and wraparounds. Was she nervous? Who wasn't. Look, those claw marks on my right forearm could have come from anyw...
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Funny story:  Kanye Komplains

Kanye Komplains

After Kanye West was overheard complaining that the toilet paper on the Eurostar train was "too scratchy" for his arse, we tracked him down to find out how much of a bell end he really is. He was carried in on the backs of sixteen golden retrievers while church music was played at an ear splitting volume. A large silver hand descended from the sky (we had been ordered to remove our roof for the...
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Funny story:  Meandering Through The Medicine Cabinet

Meandering Through The Medicine Cabinet

Why is it that in this age of enlightened attitudes from the new generation of modern families and forty-something hipsters-wannabes is there still a wholly unrounded perception towards those who 'do' drugs? My days of indulgence were sadly snatched away from me upon the birth of my son. My last joint was rolled and flamed on the very day he was born. I had spent all night at the hospital, th...
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Showing page 1 (of 426 pages)

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Eminent Authority Opines on Obama Administration "Transparency"

"The transparency of the Obama Administration is as pellucid as the pool of sludge at the bottom of an out house." M Voltaire

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