Glancing through the morning papers, whilst having breakfast in bed, the queen's eyes froze at the headline reading: Pope Benedict XVI To Resign. She was reported to have immediately reached under the blankets for her purse, pulled out her mobile and pressed #1 on her speed dial.
Around the world, crossing the Atlantic, and into the basement bunker office of the National Security Agency in the...
Word is leaking out, in a trickle down sort of way, that it wasn't an intentional train wreak performance by actor Clint Eastwood at the Republican convention, but a secret, undercover Democratic plot, intentionally executed by a closet Democrat, and successfully carried out to sabotage the Romney candidacy.
No way!
Did anyone notice: Nobody is talking about Romney's speech? But everyone is...
When Barack Obama selected Joe Biden instead of Hillary Clinton as vice president, the Republican power brokers embarked upon a strategy to win the disappointed and seemingly disenfranchised female Democratic vote: Run someone with a vagina, and Republicans will win.
No problem! What difference would it make to women? A vagina is a vagina; a skirt, a skirt. Many called this John McCain's, "Hail...
Sounding like a prayer, two of Newt Gingrich daughters issued a statement following wife number two's revelation in a ABC Brian Ross interview: Newton Leroy wanted an open marriage and to continue his relationship with his mistress, Callista.
The above fails to sound like a family values candidate of South Carolina. Hence, the daughters statement.
Sort of sounding like:
Our father, which...
Governor Scott Walker of Wisconsin has announced that for the good of the state, he is stepping down to spend more time with his family.
The nation's attorney general (there's one?) may also be about to make an announcement. He is investigating whether to pursue criminal charges against the Governor on conspiracy with other Republican governors to destroy the rights of public employee.
Evid...
Other news agencies have established that Sarah Ferguson, Duchess of York, was nixed from the guest list of the Kate and Wills wedding, but was the blood uncle of William and Harry, Charles Spencer, brother of Princess Diana, on the invite list? If invited, will he be asked, (as the one and only blood uncle) to speak from the pulpit? Maybe they can rein him away from the pulpit, but he has to give...
Near mid-night, a barrel-chested man with a receding widow's peak, was seen to be lugging three steamer trunks (on wheels) across the jammed pack terminal of Cairo International Airport and coming to a stop at the first class counter of Swiss Air. Camped out travelers waiting for announcements of their departing planes, noted the similarity to the current President of Egypt, but shrugged away th...
Google 'crosshairs' and a page will open dealing with crosshairs, Sarah Palin and the recent tragedy in Tuscon, Arizona. The pundits and reporters are quick to point out there is no connection between the tragedy in Arizona and Sarah Palin. Apparently technology and the internet have made the connection.
Like screaming fire in a crowded theater, people do not place crosshairs on a congressiona...
With a firm grip around Nancy Pelosi's waist, bouncing her against his hip, Donald Trump announced that the Speaker of the House will retain her position as second in line and runner up to President Obama.
Joe Biden questioned, "Does that make me first runner up? Man, I haven't even done my bikini pageant walk!" With a wave of the hand, Trump dismissed the necessity of the bikini pageant walk.
Unless Governor Blagojevich of Illinois has a Swiss bank account or an account in the Grand Cayman Islands, proving the Governor took some bleeping money, Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald doesn't have much of a case against Blago except for using bad language over the telephone and maintaining a disastrous, Moe Howard, (Three Stooges) hairdo.
Guys over ten should not wear bangs. After ten,...
And throw in General Wesley Clark. Whew. Apparently, John McCain used nasty language directed at wife, Cindy, after she attempted to spread his thin hair over a bald spot, saying his hair was getting thin. A deluge followed from McCain and he accused her of wearing a pound of makeup, looking like a trollop and added the 'C' word.
What do Hillary Clinton and Mamie Eisenhower have in common?...
Psychics sit back and look over your shoulder to read the past and future. They insist they see things as clearly as the desk. They haven't a clue who you are, yet they can tell amazing stories. News pundits study opinion polls, scrutinize speeches, writings and voting habits to understand the ranking of the hour's favorite candidate. They give opinions on news programs: "Obama used t...
A computer glitch has placed the International Space Station in jeopardy. Talk is that the multi-billion dollar project may have to be abandoned. Before jumping ship, maybe they should try dialing up Earthlink and experience the anguish of waiting on hold for an hour, finally getting a human being working out of Manila, - speaking with an indistinguishable accent - endure the torture of switching...
Hollywood, D.C. - If President Bush worked driving bus for Greyhound, and was suppose to take a load of passengers to Las Vegas, but ended up in Disneyland, gave it a second try, and drove to Salt Lake City, then on the third attempt, landed in Aspen, Colorado, chances are he'd lose his job. If he defended his driving and map reading skills by suggesting he send a team of wise men to Las Vega...
In the spirit of Christmas giving, Jennifer Aniston has started manufacturing voodoo dolls in her basement. Originally started as a personal venture, (like Mrs. Fields chocolate chip cookies) close friends and relatives requested a few, (as happened with Mrs. Fields chocolate chip cookies). Word of mouth spread and soon a website was born, along with counter space at Barneys, Wilkes Bashford and W...