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Funny story:  Paul Ryan Does Full Spread Centerfold Photo Shoot for Playchick Magazine

Paul Ryan Does Full Spread Centerfold Photo Shoot for Playchick Magazine

The Romney presidential campaign has released a statement affirming that Vice Presidential candidate Paul Ryan has just finished shooting a full spread with Playchick Magazine. Robert Benson, an official Romney spokesman, had this to say at a press conference called to explain the campaign's latest move: "Congressman Ryan has posed for Playchick to prove, in plain sight, how dedicated he and...
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Funny story:  Mitt Romney Chosen as Cricket's Official Mascot

Mitt Romney Chosen as Cricket's Official Mascot

I recently had the opportunity to sit down with the Head of the International Cricket Council, Sir Edward Crowley, to speak about why the ICC had chosen Governor Mitt Romney as its new official mascot. BDF: Thank you for meeting with me today, Sir Edward. SEC: My pleasure, Bobby. Pleasure to be here. BDF: So let's get right to it. Why has the ICC chosen an American presidential candidate...
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Funny story:  Senator Joe Manchin has Existential Crisis after Reading Facebook Comment

Senator Joe Manchin has Existential Crisis after Reading Facebook Comment

Facebook vigilante, Bobby D. Foster's has struck yet another Senator. The unprovoked Facebook comment reads as follows: Dear Senator Manchin, I just wanted to inform you that I am quite disappointed that your chin is not as manly as you name suggests. Have a nice day. -BDF The Senator has reportedly not shown up to a single congressional session since he read the post last Thursday.
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Funny story:  Half Meter Peter

Half Meter Peter

Harry and Margret lived deep in the woods, Living their lives just as bunny pairs should, Laughing and playing and hopping about, Consummate lovers, sincere and devout. Harry and Margret loved playing so much, Easily filling the forest with such, Din that their neighbors would fly in great fear, Clearing the woods of all birds, bears, and deer. As they were playing one fine summer day...
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Funny story:  Top 10 Things You Will Find on Every Top Ten List

Top 10 Things You Will Find on Every Top Ten List

1. Numbers. Ten of them, actually. Maybe Roman, most likely Arabic. 2. Letters. Possibly formulated into words. Whether or not those words are cogent or in the right order is completely up in the air. 3. Links to other Top 10 Lists.Why are you getting a link to the "Top Ten Ways to Sodomize a Goat"? Because you're a twisted fuck. That's why. 4. Arbitrary metrics. After several minutes of...
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Funny story:  My Interview with Kanye West

My Interview with Kanye West

I recently had the opportunity to sit down and speak with one of the most popular and successful hip-hop artists of our time: Mr. Kanye West. The following is a transcript of our interview. BDF: Good morning. It's truly an honor to be able to get to meet with you. MR. WEST: Yeah, it is. BDF: Do you mind if I call you Kanye? MR. WEST: Naw. BDF: Ok, Kanye… MR. WEST: I said naw. Don...
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Funny story:  U.S. Congress Sets Fixed Price on Free Speech

U.S. Congress Sets Fixed Price on Free Speech

A bill explicitly stating that citizens will be allocated 1 second of free speech for every $10,000 of pre-taxable income they earn per year has made its way through the Senate subcommittee process. The following is a transcript of the final hearing. 2012 A BILL TO CODIFY, GUARD, AND BOLSTER FREE SPEECH RIGHTS IN THE UNITED STATES HEARING BEFORE THE SUBCOMMITTEE ON THE CONSTITUTION,...
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Funny story:  U.S. Senate Bursts into Spontaneous Verse

U.S. Senate Bursts into Spontaneous Verse

The U.S. Senators gathered for today's floor debate unexpectedly and unintentionally broke out into verse in the middle of their proceedings. The following is the official Congressional transcript of what occurred. CONGRESSIONAL RECORD PROCEEDINGS AND DEBATES OF THE 112TH CONGRESS, SECOND SESSION WASHINGTON, THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 6 2012 SENATE MORNING BUSINESS The Senate met at 10...
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Funny story:  U.S. House of Representatives Votes to Abolish Satire

U.S. House of Representatives Votes to Abolish Satire

The United States House of Representatives has recently conducted a bipartisan vote to abolish all forms of satire within the country in a move clearly designed to belie the widely held notion that Congress is the place where good ideas go to die. The following are transcripts from the subcommittee hearing and floor debate that led to the aforementioned vote. 2012 A BILL TO PROTECT THE INTEG...
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Funny story:  U.S. Congressional Approval Falls Below 0%

U.S. Congressional Approval Falls Below 0%

The U.S. House of Representatives recently held a hearing concerning the revelation that Congress' approval rating hit the unprecedented low of -4%. The following is a transcript of that hearing. CONGRESSIONAL APPROVAL RATING FALLS BELOW 0% 2012 HEARING BEFORE THE SUBCOMMITTEE ON GOVERNMENT ORGANIZATION, EFFICIENCY AND FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT OF THE COMMITTEE ON OVERSIGHT AND GOVER...
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