Former Dutch international Edgar Davids has joined the football leagues bottom club, North London Barnet.
The leagues bottom club? Has he been on the 'herbal cigarettes'? Has he confused his local football club with his local hairdressers...
The club announced Davids joined the struggling League Two outfit because they were his local club.
Well it beats commuting on the Northern Line every mo...
The England v Poland World Cup qualifying match was postponed on Tuesday October 16th after heavy rain. The Stadium, purpose built for the Euro 2012 tournament held in Poland and Ukraine during the summer, has a roof but never used it.
The match was rearranged for 4pm the following day, ending in a 1-1 draw. One match at Euro 2012, between co-hosts Ukraine and France, was suspended due to heavy...
Kanye West 'terrified' of sex video with Kim Lookalike going public.
Time to cover the Shaggy song "It Wasn't me"
TOWIE star Lauren Goodgier turns up late for her won birthday party.
Not like a reality tv star to miss their 15 minutes?!
Emma Watson: I thought love had to be painful after reading Shakespeare.
Emmy hun, your confusing love with bondage.
Kim Kardashian does promotional wo...
Ace Michael Owen nets thief after watching raid on CCTV
Full Story: The Sun
He's got used to watching the action sitting down after being on the bench at Man United for so long...
Felippe 'Big Phil' Scolari wants to return to manage in England after getting the push from Palmeires....
Full Story: Talksport
Big Phil looking for a big job, I suggest he watches this space at West Ham to replac...
Bought a book about BBC Radio 4 in the local charity shop.
Inside the book is a business card for the writer.
He lives a few streets away from me and the shop. A bit of self-promotion maybe...
Overheard Conversation of The Week
Woman to her friend at the bus stop. "I've got my Year 13 children where I want them. They already hate the Tories.
London 2012 Olympic and Paralympic merchandise...
Emile Heskey is wanted by Conference side Macclesfield, who believe the former Aston Villa, Liverpool and England striker, can fire them back into the Football League.
Full story: Daily Mirror
Found his level?
Former Tottenham manager Harry Redknapp, 65, says he still as passionate about the game now as he was 20 years ago. "Get me and Fergie together and we'll be talking about the good job M...
Anton Ferdinand is considering taking a civil action against John Terry should the Chelsea defender escape serious punishment from the forthcoming FA inquiry into his alleged racial abuse.
Full story: Sunday Telegraph
Apparently the case is a week Tuesday. As Ferdinand left the pitch he shouted to Terry "Oiii , C U Next Tuesday"
Reading skipper Jobi McAnuff, 30, has called for football's top...
England and Manchester City midfielder James Milner, 26, says his Yorkshire grit fuels his determination to succeed.
(Daily Mail)
Yorkshire grit, tea-bags and yorkshire puddings.
Ukraine coach Oleg Blokhin has banned his players from watching videos of World Cup qualifier opponents England's 5-0 win over Moldova - in case they are intimidated.
(Daily Mirror)
If they go on the pitch thinking...
Kim Kardashian's mum tells Kanye West : Stop talking about my daughter's sex tape.
And make a new one? I think everyone has seen the last one by now.
Coronation Street barmaid star Michelle Keegan: I'm genuinely not sexy.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder?
EASTENDERS star Tony Discipline has said that Jessie Wallace's character Kat Moon could be having an affair with a WOMAN.
KIm Ka...
Monday
Last song I hear before leaving the house is Call Me Maybe by Carly someone or other (Ok its Jepson - I'm embarrassed I know that, but I'm claiming its research) The song is stuck in my head for THE WHOLE DAY.
And now it's in yours. That is how life works.
Tuesday
There's A Mouse loose Aboot the house. We put down glue traps in kitchen corners. Mouse doesn't fall for (into) them. Not...
Moldova 0 England 5
Moldova were rolled over by The Three Lions. Two goals from Frank Lampard, one from Jermaine Defoe and first international strikes from James Milner and Leighton Baines.
I think even Leyton Orient might have scored against Moldova.
Scotland 0 Serbia 0
Manager Craig Levein told the press conference he believed that his team could win all 10 qualifying games.
He was wrong.
Swindon Town 0 Leyton Orient 1
The O's end the 23 home match unbeaten run of Swindon.
I imagine Paulo Di Canio has promised to sack all of the players and make them train in their undies on one of the towns many roundabouts unless they apologize and write 100 lines 'I MUST DO BETTER'
Crewe Alexandra 0 Tranmere Rovers 0
The first goalless draw at Gresty Road in over a year saw Tranmere drop t...
Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger says he sees a future for Nicklas Bendtner, 24, at the Emirates despite sending the Denmark striker on loan to Juventus after spending a season with Sunderland.
(Guardian)
The club need a burger bar assistant who speaks Danish.
Uruguay were going to play a World Cup qualifier against Colombia in local second division side Solo Junior's away strip until their kit...
Cristiano Ronaldo has rejected accusations he said he is "sad" at Real Madrid to get more money from the club.
(BBC Sport)
Its hair gel. He wants more hair gel. Trust my sources on this one
Liverpool supporters' union Spirit Of Shankly has called on the club's American owners to appoint a chief executive based in the city.
(ESPN)
The problem is, if they did appoint a local CEO, they'd proba...
Danielle Lloyd poses naked for the first time since losing boob implants
She only takes up three quarters of the page now.
Cheryl Cole admits in radio interview to steamy dreams about Rihanna.
That could potentially be the largest searched item on youtube since Beyonce and Shakira's duet.
CURVY Kim Kardashian gasps as a wardrobe malfunction nearly gives shoppers an eyeful.
I only popped o...
Arsenal chairman Peter Hill-Wood admits the Gunners cannot compete in the transfer market with Chelsea and Manchester City.
(Evening Standard)
They are however very convenient for kebab shops and Screen On The Green cinema in Upper Street.
Newcastle will try again to sign winger Tom Ince, 20, from Blackpool in January after having a £4m bid rejected.
(Mirror)
Rumours that the son of former...
Michael Owen has joined Stoke City on a one year contract.
This ends speculation he would rejoin old club on Merseyside, Joke City.
Owen was persuaded to join after a 30 minute conversation with life-long Stoke City fan and comedian Nick Hancock.
Stoke fans said it was the best ever episode of 'Hancock's Half Hour'
The deal was finally completed three days after the Transfer Window closed...
Saturday
Arrive at Leyton Orient at 2.45pm to attend a home match for the first in three years. Due to a serious traffic accident on the A406, opponents Hartlepool are delayed and at 3.30pm the match is officially cancelled.
(Its a shame their are no Olympic Lanes on the A406)
Ironically, in April I wrote a spoof about Orient fans getting lost on route to Hartlepool.
Wednesday
After tellin...
Fulham may have sold Mousa Dembele to Tottenham during the transfer window, but Cottagers fans could soon be singing the player's name again, after one of their academy players - also named Mousa Dembele - scored a hat-trick for the club's U18s against Crystal Palace.
(Fulham FC.com)
Two Mousa Dembele's, theirs only two Mousa Dembele's, two Mousa Dembele's...
Arsenal have not won a trophy fo...
'He is just too intelligent for her': Geri Halliwell cools off her romance with Russell Brand after initial 'fizz of yoga and sex'
She's now looking for someone who likes bucks fizz, yoghurt and sax. But no dictionary.
'I don't regret a thing': Celebrity Big Brother's Danica Thrall reveals steamy lesbian romps on sex channels
I regret not having that channel on freeview. (Thank God for the in...
Chris Moyles prepares to leave the Radio 1 breakfast show after eight years at the helm
Music to my ears...
Usain Bolt dating model from Dartford
I can't believe this punchlines not Bolter - sorry better.
Simon Cowell spotted unshaven with new girl on boat
Is Cowell growing a new beard?
Rihanna asks London nightclub bouncer "Don't you know who I am?"
Bouncer replies "Sorry Riri, didn'...
Liverpool midfielder Jonjo Shelvey, 20, whose grandmother is from Edinburgh, has held talks with the SFA about potentially representing Scotland.
(Sunday Mirror)
"See you Jimmy, I mean Jonjo"
England manager Roy Hodgson insists he will stick with veterans Frank Lampard, Steven Gerrard and John Terry. Lampard, 34, Gerrard, 32, and Terry, 31, will not be discarded as they enter their 30s.
(Dai...