Saturday was going to be an easy day in tabloid world. It's the first day of the school holiday, the weather is looking good and an early finish is on the cards.
They had been working frantically over the past weeks on the Murdoch phone hacking scandal, secretly keeping back some juicy snippets for the front pages.
Everything was going well, it was only twelve noon and the papers were all re...
In a recent, totally impartial survey by English people, England was overwhelmingly voted as the best country in the world.
One of the reasons England scored so high was our inventive skills. Amongst many other things, we invented time. Without time nothing else could be invented, so by default we pretty much invented everything.
We invented America, Australia, and Canada, (apart from the sh...
Police in London are launching a phone number for calls that do not require an urgent response. I tried the system out today to see how it worked. The call went something like this.
101
Ring ring, ring ring, ring ring,…………………………………………….ring ring.
Hello, you are through to the police non emergency help line; please select one of the following options.
If you see someone breaking into a...
This is the shock new revelation coming from the American Creationist's Movement (ACM).
According to the ACM the world is only 6000 years old. This is in stark contrast to scientists claims that the world is in fact closer to being between four and five billion years old. Scientists, (whom the ACM believe only exist as tools of Satan to disprove the existence God), have based their evidence on...
This is almost a real letter received at the DIY SOS team HQ.
Dear DIY SOS, I hope you can help me. My name is Jane Hunt and I have a useless husband called Mike.
I have a really simple job that desperately needs doing and I'm afraid that my man is not quite up to the task. Therefore I need your help.
Almost a year ago I purchased a nice bedroom dresser from MFI during their closing down...
It can't have escaped your notice that domestic fuel prices are about rise sharply.
Don't despair, read our useful guide to saving energy and money. By following a few simple tips you could save enough money to buy a gallon of petrol.
Believe it or not it's cheaper to buy second hand clothes at a local boot sale than it is to wash yours, even at low temperatures. The average washing machine...
Almost every newspaper has a section devoted to some type of quiz. Quizzes are good; they give readers an opportunity to exercise their brains. It also makes them come back for the answers if they fail in their efforts.
There are many types of quizzes available. Questions that rely on general knowledge are fun but they are also far too easy to cheat. Asking a question like, What is the world's...
Today Ed Miliband accused PM David Cameron of shamelessly accepting money to advertise the release of The Beatles back catalogue on iTunes. Miliband claims that a recent speech Cameron made to party members contained multiple references to Beatle songs.
Below are a few edited highlights of that very speech.
Some people said the conservative party was finished and that either I'm a loser, or...
Buying a house can be a stressful time. This stress is further compounded by a group of people who make the News of The World hackers seem positively saint like. I am of course talking about estate agents.
Estate agents have invented a completely new type of language that's designed to confuse and confound ordinary people into submission. Their descriptive prose is so expertly engineered that...
Yes, it's almost true. I have decided to start my own broadband service. I'm going to call it "Pie in the sky broadband Ltd".
By using the same artistic licence as used by other providers I can claim to offer headline speeds of up to 100MB. As long as I put a couple of ** after anything I make up and stick a disclaimer at the bottom of the page in writing so small that it could be classed as a...
If you haven't already done so please read the previous e-mail by Les Being as the one below is the daughter in laws response.
Dear mum,
May I call you mum? You had better get used to it as I am going to marry your son, whether you like it or not.
Before you start slagging me off with regards to MY suitability as a future daughter in law; how about YOUR suitability as a future mother in...