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Showing articles written by William Turdsworth.


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Funny story:  Tarnish and Varnish

Tarnish and Varnish

You tarnish your album With that fucking song You tarmac my road But that's nothing wrong You tarnish the mornings With incessant tweeting But your tweeting on Twitter Takes some beating You tarnish my thoughts You tarnish your sequels You tarnish my silver You tarnish your equals You tarnish my varnish And make it vanish You tarnish my rhymes So I have to use mannish You...
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Funny story:  Arise Sir Bruce

Arise Sir Bruce

Arise Sir Bruce Of wig abuse And jokes so old They've all been told A thousand times By men of wit Though mostly shit Good game, good game Not really. But he can dance And he'll romance Ex beauty queens And if he means To cause offence He'll blame his age His life's a stage Higher, lower Joker The cards he's played The friends he's made For generations On TV stations He's...
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Sherlock Actor Investigates Cast

Benedict Cumberbatch drilled the Star Trek cast and successfully deduced that his stolen peanut butter and jelly sandwich was taken by Zachary Quinto.

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