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Showing articles written by attilathehungry.


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Funny story:  God and Allah agree to call it quits in the interests of World Peace...

God and Allah agree to call it quits in the interests of World Peace...

A unique heart-to-heart has taken place between the two Big Players in world affairs - God and Allah. It is hotly rumoured to have occurred somewhere in Bradford where the two Supreme Beings have been lving in secret for some time in two adjacent terraced houses. (They discovered early on in their new-found relationship that however much they liked one another there was always going to be a proble...
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Funny story:  There is no justice on earth for those who are truly evil...

There is no justice on earth for those who are truly evil...

This is a piece I have written for a certain African tyrant who will be easily recognised by the perceptive reader. This is no spoof. It is a heartfelt piece. Some of the content might be disturbing for the more sensitive or less bloodthirsty reader, so be warned. It was never my intention when I penned these words to cause offence or to upset anyone. What I did want to do was to give expressi...
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Funny story:  Born-again Christian? Don't take the piss mate cos it ain't funny...

Born-again Christian? Don't take the piss mate cos it ain't funny...

First of all, before I even start to write this piece, I want to make it clear that this is not so much a "spoof" piece as a personal and very heartfelt condemnation of a household name. Everything in this piece is written as a tribute of a sort to a fine musician who battled alcoholism and later throat cancer and who died only last Friday at the age of 71. Bass player Jet Harris was a founder...
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Funny story:  Saturated fat isn't just for Eskimos - it could save your life!

Saturated fat isn't just for Eskimos - it could save your life!

Six foot three inch catwalk model and aspiring weather presenter Thinna Zarake went on the record on primetime TV today to condemn the widely-held conviction that eating saturated fat is always bad for your health. Miss Zarake openly attacked BBC One Show presenters Nick Famous and Alison Shortskirt for their condemnation of the high percentage of saturated fat in the nation's diet. "You t...
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Funny story:  The Immig_Rant - or "Soft Touch UK"

The Immig_Rant - or "Soft Touch UK"

Oh to be in Euroland now we have no borders, but tell me how are we supposed to fend off these marauders? The word went out some years ago that England was a freebie, and now our bucket's filling up we've got the heebie-jeebies. So why do we feel so dismayed to see so many races, of every different colour and a strange array of faces? If you invite the hoi polloi and give them everything, it's...
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Funny story:  Let's hear it for our illustrious ex-PM, Bony T. Liar...

Let's hear it for our illustrious ex-PM, Bony T. Liar...

Oh please let me in I want to be a politician, it's all so exciting - I'm a man with a mission! You'll love my mock-sincerity I've practiced it for years, my sombre-faced delivery will have you all in tears, you'll love my lies and promises I've honed them to perfection, now all I need to do is win the General Election! You voters will be much too thick to spot that I'm a total prick, a cad a k...
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Funny story:  How's about a reality check for Simon Cowell...

How's about a reality check for Simon Cowell...

Let's all get hysterical about some kid who can sing a bit. What's that I hear - his mum struggled on her own to raise this likely lad? Good. We can use that to win over the bleeding hearts. And his dad is doing time? HUSH THAT UP NOW! We don't want to spoil the Product before it's launched......... This lad will go far backed by our marketing expertise, so wheel out the Publicity Machine an...
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Funny story:  What's wrong with this picture? A short treatise on the current "moral vacuum" at the rotten core of our society.

What's wrong with this picture? A short treatise on the current "moral vacuum" at the rotten core of our society.

I can't afford a 50" HD LCD TV with Freeview. Stuck as I am in a poverty trap on a State Pension this sort of thing is out of my reach. However this is seriously infringing my Human Right to a higher standard of living than what I can afford. It's discrimination, mate, that's what it is, because I'm entitled to one, and that's good enough for me. SO - I think I'll try the European Court of Human R...
View 'What's wrong with this picture? A short treatise on the current "moral vacuum" at the rotten core of our society.'
Funny story:  Controversial Danish artist Hotte Scheisse shocks the Modern Art world with BRICKS - "It's her masterpiece" says Guardian critic Bogus O'Sham

Controversial Danish artist Hotte Scheisse shocks the Modern Art world with BRICKS - "It's her masterpiece" says Guardian critic Bogus O'Sham

Now showing at the Tate Modern until September, is a retrospective exhibition of the work of Danish post-post-modern-neo-futurist-abstract/concrete artist Hotte Scheisse. Born in the 1950's, in the little-known Parisian suburb of Fromage sur Seine, the result of a one night stand behind a night club in Montmartre between her Polish heroin-addicted mother and a one-legged alcoholic German soldie...
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Breaking News...

Barack Obama Resigns as USA president

Last night,the president of the United States of America Barack Obama resigned for unknown reason's according to CNN News.His replacement might be actor Morgan Freeman or NBA star Kobe Bryant.

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