Jesse Ventura has made a startling revelation today about Barack Obama. The former Navy Seal has revealed that when he was investigating the Plum Island Conspiracy; he stumbled upon a police report about a John Doe whom had been washed ashore on Montauk Beach.
Jesse said, "Basically the guy had abnormally long fingers and had five big holes drilled into his head; and had, had neurosurgery. Th...
Catholics everywhere have been shocked by the resignation of Pope Benedict. The Catholic Church are saddened that Pope Benedict is resigning and are hurt by his lack of commitment.
One lady was heard whining, "I've been a good Catholic and have been to Mass every week, regularly attended confession, and have cooked fish every Friday as well as popping out a baby every year for the last twenty...
Adele was panned by the fashion police for wearing what appeared to be a red, patterned curtain to the Grammy Award Ceremony.
Poor Adele looked like a refugee from the Van Trapp family from the set of The Sound of Music. "It looked as if Julie Andrews had whipped up a dress from an old pair of curtains like she did for those Austrian kids when she was working as a nanny". One bitchy gay desig...
Obama is a blue blooded clone of King Tut. The History Channel has confirmed that Barack shares the same DNA as the Pharoah King Tut.
More scary still Michelle Obama is a deadringer for King Tut's sister Nefertiti and the two daughters Malia and Sasha also resemble the children of King Tut and Nefertiti.
Is Barack really a clone of an ancient Egyptian King?
Said rival Mitt Romney; "Barac...
Our favourite warlock's 'tiger blood' combusted in a live show in Detroit.
Charlie's 'Adonis DNA' came to the boil when he was heckled during his live show.
Poor Sheen's sweaty face went a beetroot red and his veins started bulging and tiger blood exploded from his ears.
The 'Bitching Rock Star From Mars' found that he his spaceship had landed or crashed in a very unpromising location 'un...
An admirer of Nicki Minaj asked a friend who was a school friend of hers to give him her email address. The Jack the lad was an admirer of the singer and said that she has 'a bum to die for'.
He asked his friend Craig who used to go to a £9,000 a year boarding school with Minaj if he still had her email address.
Jake Daniels said in his email "Nicki is so hot I love her big, sexy bum and...
There is going to be a special scientific facility to study yetis. The yeti is a homanid form which is a sub-branch of the humanoid form.
There have been reports of yetis, abominable snowmen and 'big foot' in various remote mountainous areas of the world with dense forestation.
The creatures are sub-human and are able to 'mate' with humans and it is speculated that there are yeti descendant...
Well bred young fillies have been stalking Prince Harry on the stomping grounds of posh private members clubs such as Mahiki.
The exquisitely dressed young Sloanes' toss their ubiquitous blond tresses and quaff champagne at £450 a pop.
Coded texts are sent when there is a flurry of activity when it is thought that their prey is close at hand,
"Harry @Mahiki no C" can be roughly translated...
The Latino toy boy looked frozen with fear as he was bombarded by a barrage of flash bulbs of the assembled paparazzi at a 'Glamour Awards' bash in Dublin
Katie Price looked like a doily in an unflattering crocheted dress which as slashed to the navel and revealed her flesh coloured bra and knickers.
The former glamour model aka Jordan looked like 'mutton dressed as lamb' and as usual had pl...
Frumpy Kirstie Alley turned up to her dancing rehearsal dishevelled and with her hair unkept wearing a holey jumper.
On 'Dancing With The Stars' she was compared by host George Lopez to a 'pig' with tiny trotters.
George Lopez had said: 'She did a nice job, her little hooves tapping away.
'Before the show she went to the market, then she had roast beef, and this is her going all the way h...
Kerry Katona was a surprise contestant on "Celebrity Take Me Out". Kezza was one of the lovely ladies who were on the look out for 'Mr Right'. A lot of man eaters were on the special celebrity edition of "Take Me out", Jordan, Jodie Marsh, Sarah Harding, Stacey Solomon and Zoe Ball and Fearne Cotton were amongst the celebrity 'lovelies'.
The lucky guy who was on the show was Jeffrey Brazier.
Kerry Katona was a surprise contestant on "Celebrity Take Me Out". Kezza was one of the lovely ladies who were on the look out for 'Mr Right'. A lot of man eaters were on the special celebrity edition of "Take Me out", Jordan, Jodie Marsh, Sarah Harding, Stacey Solomon and Zoe Ball and Fearne Cotton were amongst the celebrity 'lovelies'.
The lucky guy who was on the show was Jeffrey Brazier.
Brian Cox tells us that since the beginning of time gravity has been at work in our universe and forged the stars and set the planets in orbit around the sun in unbounded space.
The astro-physicist spoke about the laws of physics and his love of the universe. The boy-scientist spoke of his love of 'Star Trek' and his delight is discovering that physicists once believed that there really was...
Charlie Sheen has hit the road and has abandoned his debauched life of luxury and excess. The former star of "Two and a Half Men" has got 'blue-tooth', sat nav and a sychronized mobile phone installed in the dashboard of his luxury vehicle.
It has come to light that Sheen has tired of life in his palatial, gated mansion and has found it oppressive living with his sex goddesses and instead want...
Fevered speculation of going on about the July wedding of Kate Moss and Jamie Hince. Kate has asked pal Robert Plant to perform at her wedding; he doesn't want to let down a mate.
Kate has seriously gone overboard with her wedding plans and is determined to out shine Liz Hurley's Indian wedding. She also wants her nuptials to eclipse the 'boring' wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton.
Dermot has failed to be successful in getting the American X-Factor gig. The disappointed presenter has lost out to heart-throb Enrique Iglesias.
He is expected to return to host the UK X-Factor and is expected to work alongside guest celebrities who will take it in turns to be on the judges panel. George Michael is being paid £70K to be a guest host on one episode of the X-Factor.
The pro...
Jordan has been on a bender with new squeeze Leandro. The glamour model was dressed to kill in killer leopard skin boots and a sexy golden dress. Her and her entourage partied to dawn in a London nightclub. One of her posse was arrested by police for spitting at a camera man.
The glamour girl aka Katie Price does not let the grass grow under her feet and has already moved on from Alex Reid a...
Vincent Tabak is to write a book about his time incarcerated inside HMP Belmarsh. The Dutchman has been so traumatised at his loss of privileges and the petty, humdrum life incarcerated with petty, violent convicted criminals.
The Dutchman is shocked to have witnessed the petty violence and pecking order when you are banged up inside. He was shocked to realise that a Cray like gangster figure...
Fern Cotton is currently on the Chris Moyles marathon Comic Relief vigil. She looks really glamorous with her golden tresses. Chris Moyles is starting to look a bit ragged around the edges after broadcasting live for the previous twenty eight hours. Poor Chirs looks like he could do with a wash and brush up. He is sorely in need of a shave and a change of clothes. Fern Cotton is said to have...
Katy Perry's mother has hit out against her daughter and has said that she is embarrassed by the song 'I kissed a girl'. Her mother says that it offends her as she disapproves of homosexuality and that the song is promoting lesbianism.
Katy's parents are evangelical christians and are friendly with Billy Graham and they have a ministry of saving souls for Jesus.
The dark haired pop star gre...
Kate Middleton has found that she will be marrying into the family from hell. Her prospective aunt-in-law Princess Anne has given Kate the cold shoulder and has refused to meet her.
Blue blood Princess Anne does not consider Kate Middleton suitable for marrying into 'the firm'. She has looked down her snooty nose at Kate and does not see what William sees in her.
Aunt Anne has painstakingl...
Silly Cher Lloyd has had two more tattoos much to sugar daddy Simon Cowell's disapproval. It makes you wonder whether rich Uncle Simon will drop her like the proverbial hot potato.
The naive lass had her sixth and seventh tattoo of a bird with a ribbon escaping from a bird cage. It is a bizarre tribute to her uncle "Boo Boo" who accidentally died after taking contaminated drugs.
It makes yo...